Someone Else
by MissLiss15
Summary: Bella feels more comfortable in the virtual world than she does in the real world. After meeting Edward in a chat room one night, they begin to develop a friendship. But once he sends her his picture, she wishes she could be someone else.
1. Chapter 1

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

As always, thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for being my beta and Sara aka Nikki Black and Sukiethree for pre-reading!

A/N: Just a note, if you haven't already, and you want teasers for my stories, the occasional pictures that go along with chapters and outtakes, you can find the link to my Facebook group on my FFN profile, or search for 'Stories by MissLiss15' on Facebook! I hope you all enjoy this new story!

oOo SE oOo

"Why don't you come out with us, Bella? It'll be fun!" Jessica all but begs me.

Her definition of fun and mine are two different things. Fun for me doesn't consist of going out to a club where my two friends will get hit on and have drinks bought for them all night while I just stand there being ignored. No one in a club hits on the big girl. I'm just invisible to them. It's times like these I wish I could be _anyone _else except for me.

"Sorry, I have the opening shift tomorrow at work. But you and Lauren have a drink for me," I lied to her before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone.

I loved my friends, I truly do, but they'll never get it. They'll never get _me. _I sighed and grabbed my laptop, sitting down on the couch. _Here_, on the internet, I could do anything and be anyone I wanted. I had friends on there who I could be honest with, who understood my struggles, because they struggled just the same. There were nights, however, when even that wasn't enough. I needed to feel more than I was right now. I loaded up Instant Messenger, opened up the section for chat rooms, and scrolled through the list until one caught my eye.

A Nintendo chat room seemed pretty safe, and it was bound to have a few guys in it. That was what I was craving; a confidence boost in the form of male attention. I double clicked the link to the room and then just sat there for a few moments watching conversations scroll by. I picked up quickly that the majority of the conversation was centered around Tetris, a game I'd never really enjoyed.

"Tetris is probably my least favorite video game," I wrote. I knew I might ruffle some feathers, but it would get me involved in the chat. Just as thought, I was met with a few responses like "how can you say that?" and "what the actual fuck?"

What I wasn't expecting was an Instant message to pop up. Their screen name was EAC720.

"You seriously don't like Tetris?" they wrote.

I smiled to myself. Some people took video games so seriously. "No, it's just not my thing. I've never been good at it."

"That's probably the saddest thing I've ever heard," popped up on my screen.

"If I do play video games, it's usually something like Mario. It always reminds me of my childhood," I replied.

It was a few minutes before they responded. "I get that. Mario is one of my favorites, too. I hope you don't mind me asking, but are you male or female?"

"Female. What about you?"

A few seconds later, they responded with, "Huh. Not usually a lot of girls in this room. I'm a guy."

"Good to know. What else do you do besides game?"

"Just getting my degree in computer science and going to work. What about you? No plans on a Friday night?" he wrote.

"Nope. I'm not really a fan of parties or clubs, and that's where my friends were headed. What about you?"

"Unless you count talking to strangers about video games, then no, no plans."

We continued chatting for a while, just learning small things about one another. I was from a small town in Washington called Forks, but was currently in Seattle for school while he was born and raised in Brooklyn and was attending school at NYU. We learned what each other's favorite band was, what was the best and worse movie we'd ever seen. The list went on, and before I knew it, it was already one in the morning.

"Wow, I didn't realize it was so late. I probably should get some sleep," I typed.

"Oh, right. Hey, before you go, would you be willing to tell me your name?"

I smiled at the screen as I read his words. "It's Bella. Tell me yours?"

"Edward. I really liked chatting with you, Bella. Do you want to talk again sometime soon? Like tomorrow? LOL."

"I'd really like that. Goodnight, Edward," I wrote before I signed off.

I closed my laptop and placed it back on my desk. I climbed into bed, happier than I'd been earlier in the evening. I'd made a friend tonight when all I planned on doing was a bit of shameless, anonymous flirting. I honestly couldn't wait to learn more about Edward tomorrow.

oOo SE oOo

I was woken the next morning by a loud banging at my door. I sighed and threw my feet over the edge of the bed, knowing I'd been found out by Jessica.

I pulled open the door. Sure enough, there she was. "What do you need, Jess?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, "You lied to me. I went by the coffee shop, and imagine my surprise when you weren't there. What the hell?"

"I just didn't want to go out, and you wouldn't let up otherwise."

"But it was so fun! There were these two guys, they were so hot, and—"

I raised my hand to stop her mid-sentence. "They would have been completely uninterested in me."

"Why do you say those things? You're gorgeous, Bella!"

"Look, you just wouldn't understand, okay? Maybe next time."

Jessica rolled her eyes at me, obviously not _really_ hearing what I was saying. Everyone found her and Lauren attractive. They were both thin with pin-straight hair. They could walk into any store and find something to wear and a guy to match it. They had no clue what it was like to be 190 pounds with plain brown eyes and brown wavy hair that would never do what I wanted it to. I could only shop in stores that were dedicated to _plus size _women, and it was a limited selection.

"At least come have breakfast with us?"

I glanced over at my laptop. I'd been hoping to just spend the day chatting with Edward if he was around, but I figured I'd have more time to myself later if I appeased her.

"Fine. Just let me go get dressed."

oOo SE oOo

I never felt comfortable when I went out to eat with my friends. They had no problem with stuffing their faces and no one really gave them a second glance. Me, though? I always felt like all eyes were on me, that I had to pick and choose my meals carefully because no one wanted to watch the fat girl stuff her face.

"You're just going to eat an egg white omelet and toast? Really, Bella?" Lauren questioned my order.

I glared at her. "I'm just not that hungry, okay?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever you say. Did Jess tell you about the guys we met last night? So fucking hot."

I nodded and then tuned them out, letting my thoughts drift to Edward. I just wanted to get home. I just wanted a minute to be anyone but _me._

oOo SE oOo

I rushed through my front door after Jessica dropped me off and went straight to my laptop, opening it up. I held my breath as I connected to Instant Messenger, and couldn't help my grin when I saw Edward's screen name on my friends list.

I clicked on his name to open up an IM, but before I could type anything, he messaged me first.

"Hey! I've been hoping you'd sign on," he wrote.

"Hey. Sorry, my friends dragged me out to breakfast. I'd much rather have chatted with you." I hit send before I lost my nerve.

"I'm happy you got time with your friends, but I'd much rather you were here chatting with me, too."

I read his reply over and over, a small smile on my lips. "So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?"

"I'm off for the weekend. I was hoping we could spend it getting to know each other, you know, as much as we can on here."

"I really like that idea. I think we could be good friends."

"I hope I don't seem too forward, but I'd really like to put a face to your words. Do you have a picture? I'll send you mine." As soon as his text popped up, so did a file attachment. I froze for a moment before double clicking on it, and the most attractive man I had even seen in my life stared back at me. He had piercing green eyes and the most unusual bronze-colored hair. His jaw was sharp and I could almost see the slightest bit of stubble covering it. My mouth watered looking at him.

There was no way I could be honest with him. He'd never speak to me again if he knew what I truly looked like.

"Bella? Are you still there?" he wrote.

I took a deep breath and pulled up a picture of Lauren. She was one of the most beautiful women I knew. I hesitated for a moment before I hit send.

It was done. I was officially someone else.


	2. Chapter 2

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

Thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for being my beta and Sara aka Nikki Black and Sukiethree for pre-reading!

oOo SE oOo

"_You're beautiful."_

The words kept swirling around in my head. I wasn't beautiful. I was a liar. I didn't know what else to do though. I didn't think he'd still want to talk to me if I told him what I'd done.

My mother taught me to hate the way I looked. "If you lost weight, you'd be so much prettier," she'd say. "Don't cut your hair too short, it'll make your face look fat." Or, "You can't wear that tank top without something over it, your arms are too big."The list of my shortcomings went on and on. I could always be better, do better, look better.

oOo SE oOo

A week had passed since the first night we chatted and we hadn't lost any steam. I'd get off work, hurry home, and find him there waiting for me. Some days I had to wonder what someone like him was doing sitting around on the internet when it was obvious that with his looks alone, he could probably have any woman he wanted.

I logged on quickly. Aside from my guilt, I couldn't help but smile every time I saw his name on my friends list. I clicked on his name and brought up a message box.

"Hey, how did your exam go? I've been thinking about you all day!"

"Hey!" he replied. "I think it went pretty well. I'll find out on Monday for sure, though. How was work?"

"Work was crappy. The new kid dumped a whole carafe right before we opened. We were behind the rest of the day. I was lucky to get out on time." I hated my job, but it worked well with my class schedule.

"Anything I can do to make your day better?" he wrote.

"Just being able to talk to you has already made it better."

I grinned at the screen like a fool when he replied with, "Are you flirting with me?"

"Maybe a little."

oOo SE oOo

Just like every day, time slipped right through our fingers. Before I knew it, we'd already been chatting for a couple of hours. If it was late here in Washington, that meant it was even later in New York. "Shouldn't you be asleep right now?" I asked.

"Probably, but I can't sleep."

"Oh, okay. Any reason that you can't sleep?" I typed.

"It's just how I am. Besides, talking to a pretty girl doesn't make it any easier to turn my computer off."

I sucked in a deep breath. I could handle most of our innocent flirts, but I hated when he said things like that. It just reminded me of how dishonest I was being with him. I shook it off though. Wasn't the point of what I'd done to be someone else? "Want me to sign off? Lol."

"That's the last thing I want. I love our chats. You don't have a headset, do you?"

I stared at the screen for a moment, unsure of how to answer. I was enjoying getting to know him, but I was scared to take another step further and get even closer to him.

"Bella? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. Forget I even said anything."

"No! Sorry, I got distracted for a minute. I don't have a headset, but my laptop has a built-in mic. Why?" I knew why, but I wanted to see what he would say.

"I just thought maybe we could voice chat one day. It would be nice to hear you."

"Yeah. I think it would be nice to hear you, too. Anyway, I think I need to get some sleep, and so do you. Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll be around," he typed. Maybe I was reading into things, but I could sense a bit of sadness in his words. "Goodnight, Bella."

"Sleep well."

oOo SE oOo

I wasn't as lucky as last weekend, and I _did_ have an early shift, so when my alarm went off at seven the next morning, I struggled to get out of bed. I'd tossed and turned all night. I couldn't get past the fact that he wanted to _talk_ to me, which meant the next plausible step after that would be wanting to video chat. That could obviously never happen. I wanted to talk to him though. I wanted to hear his voice even though it felt like it was unfair to him. I knew what he actually looked like, and then I would also know the actual sound of his voice.

It was something that I shouldn't have even been considering. As I laid there, I eventually decided that as long I didn't let it get _too_ personal, it might be okay.

oOo SE oOo

"You look exhausted, Bella." Angela, my coworker and best friend, greeted me as I walked through the door.

"Well, thanks."

"Sorry, I didn't mean it badly, I was just saying you look tired. Is everything okay?"

Unlike Lauren and Jessica, I felt as though Angela got me, that she actually listened when I spoke. "I just had something on my mind last night. No big deal."

"Is it a guy problem?" she asked, and I shrugged my shoulders slightly. "It _is_ a guy problem! What's his name? Is he cute?"

I sighed. "Please don't think I'm lame, but I met him in a chat room and we hit it off pretty quickly. He's all the way in New York, though."

"Why would I think you're lame? That could be so romantic!"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Romantic?"

"Yeah! Falling in love with each other's words and personality before anything else can get in the way."

I shook my head at her. "You've really jumped ahead there. No one is in love."

"Why else would you be losing sleep over someone if you weren't in love?"

"Promise you'll keep this between us? You have to swear, Angela. Lauren and Jessica can _never_ know."

A look of concern washed over her face. "You're worrying me. What's up?"

I took a deep breath. "I lied to him. He asked for my picture and I panicked. I didn't want him to take one look at me and run for the hills, so I may have sent him a picture of Lauren instead. I just—I don't know, Angela. I just don't feel good about _me. _I'm so tired of being this person. Now he wants to voice chat, and I feel guilty."

"Oh, Bella." She pulled me in for a hug. "I can't say what you did was right, but I can say that I understand how you're feeling. You're going to have to be honest with him eventually if you want to stay his friend, or maybe even more one day."

"He's in New York, what more could there ever be?"

"Ever heard of those things called planes?" she asked.

"Don't be such a smart ass."

"Seriously, though, you really _are_ beautiful inside and out. I'd kill for some of your curves."

I rolled my eyes at that. "I don't feel so beautiful."

"We'll get you there."

oOo SE oOo

My chat with Angela helped. I would _eventually _come clean to him, but that didn't mean it had to be today. I wanted to get to know him better. I wanted to judge what his reaction to something like that would be, so that when the truth finally came out, I'd have a better idea whether I was going to lose him as a friend forever or not. I hoped that maybe if I let him know the actual me through my _words,_ maybe the physical me wouldn't matter so much.

I signed on and my stomach fluttered when I saw his name on my list. It was now or never.

"So, I've been thinking, it really would be nice to hear your voice," I typed out.

His reply was quick. "Just tell me when."

I bit my lip as I typed, "Does now work?" I hit enter before I could back out.

Suddenly my laptop screen lit up with an incoming call. I hesitated for a moment before hitting accept, and then I heard him.

"Bella?"


	3. Chapter 3

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

Thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for being my beta and Sara aka Nikki Black and Sukiethree for pre-reading!

oOo SE oOo

"Oh, my God." I laughed.

"What? What'd I do?"

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my giggles. "'_How you doin?_'You sound like Joey from Friends!"

"_What_?I do not! How could you say that?" He exclaimed over the headset.

"Don't worry, it's really cute. Everyone loves Joey!"

"Oh? So I'm cute?" I heard the smile in his voice.

"Don't get ahead of yourself. I said _it's _cute. I said nothing about you."

"What's this 'it' you're talkin' about, then?"

That set me off into a whole new fit of giggles. "Your cute accent is what I'm _tawkin _about." In all reality, it was more than just cute; his voice and his accent were both so fucking hot. They matched his face perfectly.

"Psh, I don't have an accent. And here I was about to tell you I think _your _voice is really sweet and maybe even a little sexy. But if you're just going to be mean…"

As quietly as I could manage, I sucked in a deep breath. I didn't think that _any _part of me had ever been considered sexy before. "Sexy? Really?"

"You act like you've never heard that before. C'mon now, Bella, your voice is pure sex."

I let out a small squeak. _Pure sex. _He said I sounded like _pure sex. _Holy fuck. I closed my eyes for a moment. I knew he didn't truly know what I looked like, but right in that moment, everything that he was saying was about _me. _It wasn't about my body, or how I looked, it was about how I sounded. And apparently I sounded like _sex._

"Are you flirting with me, Edward?"

"Who, me? Nah, I'm not much of a flirt."

"Oh, right. Of course." I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice.

"I'm just messin' with you. How could I not flirt with you? A pretty face and a voice that should be working at a 1-900 number. You're the total package."

"_Edward! _Oh, my God, you're such a dork."

"Yeah, but you love it."

I sighed and rolled my eyes, even if he couldn't see it. "Yeah. I kind of do."

oOo SE oOo

If chatting with Edward by text was easy, then voice chatting with him was effortless. Once we got past the initial awkwardness, our conversations flowed as if we had known each other for years instead of just a little over a couple of weeks. It delighted me and terrified me at the same time. I knew one day I'd have to be honest with him and it weighed on my mind daily, but I wasn't ready to lose him. I wasn't ready to lose the connection that I felt with him.

"You seem different lately. What's going on?" Jessica stopped by my desk on the way out of the one class we shared together at college.

"Different? I don't know what you mean. I'm just me." I shrugged.

"It's a boy. It's definitely a boy. What aren't you telling me, your very best friend?"

I stopped myself from rolling my eyes at her statement. Best friends were supposed know things about each other, but Jessica's concerns started and stopped at Jessica. She acted as if she cared about me; she threw compliments at me from time to time, but they were often followed by a 'but'. Exactly as my mother always would. 'Your hair is gorgeous, _but_ if you just took the time to straighten it...' 'You've got a gorgeous face, _but_ a little makeup wouldn't hurt.'

It felt as if everyone who knew me was constantly trying to change me, wanting me to be someone I wasn't, myself included.

"It's not a boy, Jess. Hey, I've got to run or I'll be late for work." What I really meant was, I'd be late for chatting with Edward.

She eyed me carefully. "Well, okay. I guess I'll just see you later this week."

"Sure. Sounds great." I gave her a tight smile as I gathered my things and left.

oOo SE oOo

I sat down on my couch, placing my laptop on my lap and signing into Instant Messenger. Almost immediately, I had an invitation to voice chat pop-up. I put in my ear buds and accepted the call.

"Hey! I've been thinking about talkin' with you all day!" His voice was clear and happy. I gave a small smile over the way he pronounced _talking_. Even after a week of hearing his accent, it still gave me butterflies.

"Hey, Edward." I tried to match his enthusiasm, but failed miserably.

"What's wrong?" His voice was laced with concern.

"Nothing. I'm fine, I promise."

"Don't lie to me, Bella."

I gasped quietly. "What? Who said anything about lying to you?"

"You're tellin' me that you're fine when I can obviously hear that you're not. What's wrong?"

I closed my eyes, breathing deeply. "It's not a big deal, I just have a friend that sometimes makes me feel... not so good about myself. She was just bugging me after class today, is all."

"I'm sorry. Anything I can do to help?"

"Just talking to you helps. Sometimes when we're talking, I forget that the real world even exists. It's kind of a harsh reality to go back to."

He made a soft humming noise. "Yeah, I can definitely understand that. It feels like time just slips away when we're together, or, well, you know what I mean."

"I do. I know exactly what you mean. Can I ask you something, Edward?"

"You can ask me anything."

"Why are you here, waiting for me every day? You're gorgeous; you could probably have any girl you wanted."

He gave a short laugh. "I could ask you the same question, Bella. Why am I here waiting to talk to someone across the country, that's your question?"

"Yes."

"I, uh, first and foremost, it's because I feel some sort of connection to you. Time just slips away, like I said earlier. I'm not—" I heard him push out a deep breath. "I know I come off confident sometimes, but I'm not. I've had one girlfriend, in the flesh. I've never been the jock or the popular kid. I've always just been geeky Edward, with his nose stuck in a book or in front of a computer."

I felt warm, wet tears trailing down my cheeks as he spoke. I was miserable for lying to him. He had his insecurities just like I had mine. I hated that I'd assumed that because he was attractive, he would be flawless and want someone just as flawless. I knew I needed to come clean, but now instead of being worried solely about my looks, I was more concerned about how he'd feel about the fact that I lied.

"What about you? Why are _you _here, talking to a geek like me?"

"Oh, Edward," I whispered. "You're not a geek. Okay, maybe you're a _little _bit of a geek, but that's part of what I like about you. You make me feel important. I can't put my finger on it just yet, but like you said, we just have this _connection_."

"So, you still want to talk to me? Even though I'm just some geeky boy?"

"If I had it my way, Edward, we'd never stop talking."

"That's fine with me."

I hoped that when I finally found the courage to be honest with him, he'd still feel that way.


	4. Chapter 4

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

Thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for being my beta and Sara aka Nikki Black and Sukiethree for pre-reading!

oOo SE oOo

EPOV

I let out a heavy sigh, tucking my headset away and shutting down my laptop. Bella was driving me crazy. She was beautiful; not necessarily my type, as I tended to prefer brunettes with maybe just a little more meat on their bones, but she was still beautiful, inside and out.

I was falling hard for her. I was falling for the way she laughed at the corny jokes I made and the breathy way she said my name. I was falling for the way she teased me about my accent. I knew these all seemed like simple things but, for me, it was a huge deal. I was honest with her when I said I was just a geek who had trouble with the opposite sex.

It wasn't until I was a sophomore in college, which was only a year ago, mind you, that my friend and roommate Garrett decided I needed to freshen up my look. He convinced me to get contacts and update my wardrobe to something beyond baggy jeans and gamer t-shirts. It definitely worked; I had girls coming up to me left and right. While my outside looked much cooler, inside I was still the same Edward who would rather sit around talking about things like Tetris and programming. It seemed most women frowned at that.

Bella was not like that. While the first thing I learned about her was her dislike of Tetris, she still liked other games I liked, and we even planned on playing some of them together one day over the web.

She would even listen, and for the most part seem interested, when I would go on and on about the newest programming language I was learning. She made me feel something most other people, aside from my family, didn't. She made me feel valued.

There was just one thing that bothered me; she occasionally seemed guarded. She let me in on some things. For instance, I knew her relationship with her mom was strained, but not exactly why. I knew she was passionate about children and education, that she was going to college to be an elementary school teacher. On the other hand, there were times when I felt she wasn't letting me know _all _of her. Not that she was required to, but I'd hoped by this point she'd feel comfortable to just be herself with me.

oOo SE oOo

"I've seen even less of you lately, man, yet you're always home. How is that possible?" Garrett asked after I'd gotten home from class one day.

I just shrugged my shoulders, not sure that I wanted to let him in on my relationship with Bella. He was a great guy and a great friend, but I wasn't sure he'd be able to fully understand.

"Really? That's all I get? A fuckin' shrug? C'mon, what's going on with ya?"

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "There's this girl—"

"Fuckin' finally! I've been wonderin' if you were battin' for the other team! You get laid yet?"

I glared at him. "That I met online."

"Oh."

"Yeah. We're done here." I pushed past him to head into my room.

He put a hand out to stop me. "Wait, man. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything. C'mon, what's she like? She pretty?"

"She's the sweetest girl, and she's gorgeous. And her voice—_fuck_."

"You guys been video chatting? I'd stay holed up in my room watching a hot chick too."

I glared at him again but continued. "Just voice chatting. I don't want to push for too much, too fast. I'm just enjoying getting to know her."

"You know what she looks like though? Can I see?" He waggled his eyebrows.

I sighed. "You're just gonna be a dick if I show you."

"I'm always a dick, but I'll cool it, I promise."

I booted up my laptop and clicked on Bella's picture. I turned it so he could see.

"Fuck, she's _hot. _You sure that's really her? What's a hottie like that doing fuckin' around in chat rooms?"

I stared at him. "What the fuck, man? What reason would she have to lie to me?" I shook my head. I knew I should have just kept my mouth shut.

"Sorry, I'm just sayin'—"

"Fuck you." I gathered my things and headed into my room. I was so fucking pissed off at him for even insinuating that she'd lie to me; that he'd put those thoughts in my head.

oOo SE oOo

It all faded away as I signed into Messenger. It was crazy how even just the sight of her _name_ caused my heart to speed up.

"Hey, do you have time to chat?" I typed out.

"I always have time for you," she wrote back right before incoming call alert popped up.

"Hey," I breathed out.

"Hey, is everything okay?" She sounded worried about me.

"Yeah, everything is fine now that I can hear your voice."

I heard her breath catch. "Edward…"

"I've just had a rough day. My roommate is being an asshole, and in one of my classes the professor is just a dick. I can't seem to catch a break."

"I've definitely had those days. I'm always happy that I get to live alone; it's a lot less stressful."

I sighed, sitting back in my chair. "If rent wasn't so expensive here, I'd live on my own for sure. Garrett is a great guy that means well, he just doesn't get it."

"What doesn't he get?" she asked.

"This is kind of embarrassing."

"I promise I won't laugh." I knew she truly meant that. She was never anything but supportive.

"I was kind of, uh, telling him about you, and the first thing he asked me was if I finally got laid, and then I had to explain the situation."

"_Oh_," she said quietly.

"Yeah, _oh_."

"I mean, sex _is_ a great stress reliever."

"It's kind of hard to use it for that benefit when the girl you want is 3,000 miles away. Fuck, I meant—"

She gave a quiet laugh. "It's okay, I get what you mean. I want you too, you know. I mean, there's always masturbation. You're a guy, you can't tell me you've never jerked off to relieve stress."

I nearly choked on my water. I got up quickly to lock my door. "I, uh, well, yeah. Are you saying—I mean, are you suggesting... _phone sex_?"I whispered, feeling my cheeks burn.

"I... yeah, I guess I am. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

I closed my eyes tightly, not wanting her to second guess herself. "Shut up, Bella. _Fuck, _you have no clue what you do to me, do you?"

I heard her gasp softly before she spoke. "No, but why don't you tell me?" Her voice had taken on a husky tone, which shot straight to my cock.

I took a deep breath, building up my courage. This was _Bella_. I knew I could be comfortable with her. "Fuck, I'm so hard right now, baby. You've got me so fuckin' horny already." I hurried to unfasten my shorts.

"Oh _God. _Fuck, I'd love to see that, to wrap my lips around your cock. Grip your cock, Edward, pretend it's me."

"Oh, shit, yeah. Are you touching yourself? Please tell me you're touching yourself." I groaned as I wrapped my hand around my cock, stroking it.

"Mm, I was before I called you. Fuck, hearing your voice is so much better than porn."

"Oh, you watching porn and touching yourself, that's something I'd love to see. Fuck yourself with your fingers and pretend it's my cock. Can you do that for me, baby?" I stroked faster as her breath caught and released in my ear.

"_Yes,_ oh, you feel so good, Edward." She moaned loudly.

"Say it again, baby, say my name again." I grunted, getting closer to coming.

"Oh, _Edward, oh,_ I'm so close, I'm—" She cut off on a strangled moan.

"Yes, _yes_, come for me, Bella." I groaned as her breathing picked up and she moaned loudly, causing me to come all over my hand. "Jesus, fuck. Where did that come from, woman?" I said while trying to catch my breath and calm my racing heart.

She gave a small laugh. "I really was watching porn before you signed on. I don't know! Was it okay? Is it going to be weird now?"

"_So_ not going to be weird. Damn, we need to do that again sometime, baby." I was sure my grin would split my face.

"I really like that," she whispered.

"Like what?"

"When you call me baby."

I smiled to myself. "Yeah, I really like it too."

"Tell me about the rest of your shitty day now."

There was no longer an issue of whether I was falling for her. I'd just successfully dived in completely.


	5. Chapter 5

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

Thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for being my beta and Sara aka Nikki Black and Sukiethree for pre-reading!

—SE—

I never meant to fall in love with him.

What started out as a way for me to let loose and just pretend to be someone that I'm not, someone who was beautiful and had confidence, morphed into something I couldn't even explain. I had never felt so connected to another person the way I felt connected to Edward. I was so screwed.

"Earth to Bella! Where did you go just now?" Angela waved her hand in front of my face.

I blinked. "Sorry, I know I've been kind of spacey lately."

"Is it because of Edward?"

I nodded. "I still haven't been able to tell him. Every time I think I've found an opening, I lose my nerve. He's the first guy that I've ever _really_ cared about. I've had crushes on guys because they were cute, but this is just so… _beyond_ that."

"Oh shit. You're in love with him! Bella, you have to tell him before one of you gets seriously hurt. It's been weeks now."

I felt my cheeks heat at her accurate assumption that I was in love with him. "I know."

—SE—

"How was your day, baby?" I swore I could almost feel my insides melting every time he called me that.

"It was all right. Work wasn't too busy, so that was nice. I got to chat with Angela for a while."

"You were talkin' about me, weren't you?" I heard the smile in his voice.

Once again, it felt like he was leaving me wide open, giving me the opportunity to just blurt it out and come clean. But as the seconds passed and my stomach twisted in on itself, I knew it wouldn't happen tonight either.

"Bella?"

I knew I had been stuck in my head again for too long. "Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts for a second. We only spoke about you a little bit, so don't go getting a big head."

"Too late. The fact that you talk about me to your friends is enough to do it."

I rolled my eyes to myself; for a self-proclaimed geek, he sure was cocky sometimes. "It's not like we were talking about the size of your dick, Edward."

"Would you _like_ to talk about the size of my dick, Bella?"

"Mm, I have no clue. What if you have a really small one and you've just been leading me on?" I teased.

"It's not small. Don't even joke about that."

"Of course you'd say that! What guy would say he had a small dick?" I laughed.

"I could show you," he whispered, almost as though I wasn't supposed to hear it.

"Edward, I—"

"I'm sorry, Bella. That was too far, I know. It's just, _God_, sometimes I can't control myself around you, and my words get away from me."

"Edward, I didn't mind. You _know_ I don't mind dirty talk."

He gave a quiet laugh. "Yeah, I know you don't. Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Would you ever consider video chatting with me? It would be nice to see your face."

It was as if God himself was looking down at me, giving me opening after opening and screaming 'just tell him already!' But did I listen? Of course not.

"I'd love nothing more than to see you, but my webcam is broken." It killed me how easily that lie slipped past my lips. Why couldn't I just find it in me to be honest? Was it even worth having him in my life if it was just going to end in heartbreak one day?

I heard him sigh. "That sucks. I was really hoping to be able to see you."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's fine. At least I can still hear you."

I closed my eyes tightly, wishing I'd found anyone but him to talk to that fateful night so I wouldn't be in this situation. "Yeah. At least there's that."

—SE—

"I haven't seen you in almost three weeks!" Mom said as she pulled me into a hug. There was nothing warm about it; it almost felt as if she was trying to judge if I had gained weight or not.

"Sorry. Between work and classes, I haven't really had a moment to breathe."

"Well, you're here now. Daddy will be home in a few minutes and then we'll have dinner."

I nodded, following her into the kitchen so that we could chat while she finished cooking.

"So, have you met any cute boys?"

I just shrugged my shoulders, not really wanting to get into it with her. She wouldn't understand.

She sighed quietly. "You're a beautiful girl, Bella, but if you just lost a few pounds, maybe put on a little makeup, all the boys would be knocking down your door! I just want you to be happy."

"But what if I'm happy with how I am?"

She quirked an eyebrow at me. "You don't look very happy from where I'm standing."

I was so thankful when I heard Dad's keys in the door. "Hey! There's my girl! I've missed you, Bella," he said as he pulled me in for a hug. "You hungry? Come on, let's eat."

—SE—

"Do you really need seconds, Bella?" Mom asked right as I lifted the serving spoon.

"Renee, leave her alone. Why would you ask her that? Did _you_ need that second piece of pie last night?" Dad glared at her.

"Oh, Charlie, it's different. Bella is trying to lose a few pounds. I hardly ever indulge like that."

Dad huffed at her before his gaze landed on me. "You are perfect how you are, Bella. If you want to lose weight, fine; if you don't, fine. You're beautiful regardless."

"Thanks, Daddy," I whispered, placing the spoon back in the dish. My appetite was suddenly completely gone.

—SE—

"I missed you yesterday." For the first time in weeks, we'd gone an entire day without speaking to each other in some form.

"I missed you too, Edward. I should have just stayed home. It was such a waste of time, and then I didn't even get to talk to you."

"What happened, baby?"

"My mom is just very... judgmental of me. There's always _something _she thinks I can do to improve myself, how I look, or losing weight so that I can have 'boys knocking down my door'. Those are her words, not mine. I'm just really tired of it. I'm really tired of everyone around me judging me."

"But you're beautiful. You're perfect just as you are."

It was then that I felt my heart break into a million pieces and I burst into tears. He had no clue how much I wanted to hear him say those words and truly mean them. He didn't know he was actually telling Lauren she was beautiful, not _me._

"Bella—"

"I'm sorry, Edward. I have to go," I choked out as I quickly shut my laptop and ended our conversation.


	6. Chapter 6

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

Thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for being my beta and Sara aka Nikki Black and Sukiethree for pre-reading!

—SE—

Angela approached me nervously as I restocked the travel mugs. "Bella? There's a phone call for you."

"Who is it?"

"Uh, they told me not to tell you." I heard the nervousness in her voice and it put me on edge.

I eyed her carefully before I made my way into the back office. "Hello?"

"Bella." I nearly dropped the phone when I heard Edward's voice. I hadn't talked to him for a little over a week, ever since I'd had my melt down.

"Edward," I said quietly. "How did you—"

"I can use Google just like everybody else. What the hell, Bella? I've been worried sick! It's been nine days since I heard from you! _Nine days_!"

I squeezed my eyes shut, afraid of what was to come. "I can't do this right now. I'm at work."

"Give me your cell phone number; we need to talk later," he demanded.

I knew I couldn't avoid having this conversation with him any longer, so I quickly gave him my number. He told me he'd text me so I would have his as well, right before he hung up.

Before I could walk back out onto the floor, Angela cornered me. "What the hell was that about?"

"Come on, I'll tell you while we work."

—SE—

My phone rang the second I walked into my house. I took a deep breath, pulling it out of my purse. "Hello?"

"Hey. Are you home yet?"

"Yeah, I just walked in the door." I set my things down with reluctance.

"How could you do that to me, Bella? We've been talking every day for weeks now, and then you just disappear on me?" His voice was hoarse, as if he had been crying.

"I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"Tell me now, Bella, is this just a game to you? Because I'm all in, I've _been_ all in. Fuck, I'm in love with you!"

I gasped, tears streaming down my face. "It's not a game, not since the beginning. I'm so sorry."

"You said something the other day about your mom always being on your case for your appearance... But in your picture, there's nothing obvious for her to pick on... You won't video chat with me... Have you been truthful with me, Bella?"

All I could do was cry. Words just wouldn't come.

"Bella?" he whispered.

"No," I choked out.

I heard him suck in a breath. "Did you send me your actual picture? Is your webcam actually broken? Fuck, was it all a lie? We even—_fuck_!"

I couldn't find my voice through the tears. Once again, all I could get out was a quiet, "No."

"No to what, Bella?"

"The picture and the webcam."

"Why? _Why_ did you lie to me?" I heard tears in his voice again.

"Because I wanted to be someone—_anyone_—else but me. I've spent my whole life hearing people tell me I need to fix myself, that no one will want me because I'm fat. That I'm just not good enough," I sobbed.

"Do you really think so little of me? That I wouldn't want you just how you are? I've told _you _the truth about how I feel about myself! Do I seem that shallow?"

"I hardly even knew you when I sent the picture!" I yelled.

He scoffed at me. "That's your excuse? You've had weeks and weeks after that to come clean, Bella!"

"I'm sorry," I choked out.

"Take a picture. Right now, take a picture and text it to me. It's the least you can do."

"I look horrible! I've been crying, and—"

He cut me off. "Just do it, please."

I quickly opened the camera on my phone and snapped the best picture I could, considering the situation, and sent it off to him. We were both silent for a few minutes.

"You're beautiful. You're really and truly beautiful. I need to go. I'll... talk to you later."

"Edward," I called out, but the line went dead.

I curled up on the couch, not even bothering to try to stop my tears from falling. I was afraid I'd just lost one of the best friends I'd ever had. His last words, that he thought I was beautiful, swirled around in my head. They fought with everything I'd been raised to believe; that I wasn't good enough how I was, that no one could love me as-is.

Did Edward truly mean it?

—SE—

Jessica was probably the last person I wanted to see right now, but since I apparently wasn't feeling bad enough, she stopped by my desk on the way to hers. "Wow, you look like crap."

"Thanks, Jess, that's really helpful." I glared at her. I really wasn't in the mood for her crap today.

"God, no need to be such a bitch. You could have at least brushed your hair." She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, we missed you last night! Oh, God, Lauren got so drunk, I doubt she made it to any of her classes—"

"Does anyone sit here?" someone asked, thankfully cutting Jessica's one-sided conversation short.

I looked up at the short woman with spiky black hair that stood near me. "Oh, no, it's free. Are you just starting in this class?"

She sat down on the desk beside mine. "Yeah, I switched from a different English class. I couldn't stand the professor. I'm Alice, by the way."

I gave her a small smile. "I'm Bella."

"You're so lucky to have such pretty skin."

I blushed. "Uh, thanks? I didn't have time to do my makeup."

Alice shrugged her shoulders. "You don't really need it. Maybe a little mascara to play up your lashes, but not much else."

I was at a loss for words. It wasn't often that I found myself at the end of a compliment, but before I could reply, the professor walked in.

—SE—

"Do you want to get coffee?" Alice asked as we were packing up our things. "I'd like to get to know you. I think we could be good friends."

"Coffee sounds great!" Jessica interrupted.

"Oh, I just meant Bella."

My eyes widened in shock at her blatant dismissal of Jessica. I had no other plans since Edward hadn't spoken to me in days, and I wasn't sure that he was ever going to again. Every time I logged onto to Instant Messenger, his name was nowhere to be seen. I'd even gone as far as texting him, but there was no reply.

"I, uh, yeah." I nodded. "Coffee sounds great."

The look of disgust that crossed Jessica's face was almost comical. "_Seriously_,Bella? You're just going to go with her after she was rude to your best friend?"

I shrugged my shoulders the way Alice had, gathered my things, and followed Alice out of the classroom. I didn't know why, but I already felt like I could trust her.

Alice leaned into me as we walked. "Your friend, Jessica, was it? She's a bitch."

"She's uh, well, yeah. Yeah, she is. Come on, I work at the coffee shop on campus. It's not far from here."

—SE—

We sat down at a corner table with our coffees. "So, where are you from, Alice?"

"Originally from Mississippi. What about you? Are you from around here?" She blew on her coffee before taking a sip.

"Wow, Mississippi, that's a long way away. Yeah, I'm from a small town not too far from here called Forks." I doubt she'd heard of it; no one ever had.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Are you hitting on me, Alice?" I smirked.

She laughed quietly. "If I swung that way, sure. You're gorgeous. But no, I was just curious."

"Gorgeous?" I rolled my eyes. "You're pushing it. No, no boyfriend." I sighed.

Alice cocked her head to the side. "You don't see yourself very clearly, do you? _Was_ there a boyfriend? You seem sad."

"It's a long story."

"I've got time."

For reasons that I still couldn't put my finger on, I felt comfortable with Alice. I felt like I could be as honest with her as I was with Angela, and that she wouldn't judge me. Which was why I spent the rest of the afternoon filling her in on my life, including the disaster with Edward.

—SE—

"Those girls aren't your friends, Bella. Friends aren't supposed to tear each other down," Alice said once I'd finished spilling everything to her.

"I've known them since middle school. I know they're not the nicest, but they're all I've had, besides Angela. Honestly, though, are they really wrong? I mean, between me and you." I gestured between us. "Who's most likely to get a guy's attention?"

"You're looking at it all wrong. It's not dependent on body type, it depends on what a guy or girl finds attractive. One guy might find me hot, but another might find you hot. Isn't that true for you? Don't _you_ have a type of guy?" She quirked an eyebrow.

I nodded. "I know, but, I've just got extra... _everything_, _everywhere_."

She set down her coffee cup, sitting back in her chair. _"_Did you ever ask Edward what his type was?"

"No."

"What if _you're _his type? What if he likes girls with dark hair, great boobs, and a great ass?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm _sure_ he likes those things, but with a flat stomach and thighs that don't touch."

"You don't know that. You should ask him."

My eyes watered. "If he was talking to me, I would."

She shrugged. "You can either lie down and admit defeat, or you can keep trying and he'll eventually answer."

With that boost of confidence, I pulled out my phone, deciding to keep trying.


	7. Chapter 7

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

Thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for being my beta and Sara aka Nikki Black and Sukiethree for pre-reading!

—SE—

EPOV

If Garrett hadn't put the thought into my head, I'm not sure I would have ever put it all together. The picture, the broken webcam, the way she sometimes guarded herself, and finally, her self-esteem issues; added up, it all made sense. When I think about it now, the picture she initially sent and her personality just didn't match up. I knew better than to judge a book by its cover, but while the girl in the original picture was beautiful, she also looked... _bitchy_, for lack of a better was as far from a bitch as anyone could get.

I was angry that she lied to me, but even more so than that, I was heartbroken.

I was heartbroken that after all the days and nights we spent chatting on Instant Messenger, and after that, voice chatting, she still felt she couldn't trust me. We'd even had phone sex once or twice, and even after something so intimate, she thought I would judge her on her appearance. I thought that after almost two months of knowing each other, she'd know me better. I thought that she'd know that I wasn't a shallow person.

I wish that she would have realized that after hearing her voice and getting to know her as a person, I would have been attracted to her regardless of her appearance.

—SE—

I sighed, staring at my phone for what felt like the millionth time, at the _real_ picture Bella had sent me. Her eyes were so sad and full of tears, and it tugged at my heart that I'd yelled at her. I basically forced her to send me her picture. I'd needed the truth though, and the truth that I'd gotten was that she was gorgeous.

From what I could tell of the slightly blurry picture, she had deep brown eyes, her hair was a dark mahogany color, her lips were plump and the perfect shade of pink, and even as frustrated as I was, I imagined that kissing them would be amazing. I fell deeper in love with her as soon as I laid eyes on her, all while she was breaking my heart.

I didn't know what to do, or where to go from here. I hadn't signed on to Instant Messenger in over a week, and even though I saw her texts, I didn't know if I was ready to talk with her. I wasn't sure I could handle anymore heartbreak.

Garrett was a good friend, but he wasn't always the most sensitive guy, so I knew he wasn't the person I needed to talk to about this. So after more than a week of not logging into my account, I turned on my laptop and signed into Messenger, making sure I was set to invisible. I felt my heart clench when I saw Bella's screen name on my friend's list.

I clicked on Jasper's name, typing out a message to him. "Hey, do you have time to chat?"

"I didn't even see you log on, who are you hiding from?" he replied.

"Do you remember that girl I was telling you about? Bella?"

"Yeah. She go crazy or something?" he wrote.

"Her picture wasn't actually of her. I don't know what to do. I still have feelings for her, and I think everything else she told me was true, but fuck. How could she lie like that?"

"Did you ask her why she did it?"

"Yeah, while I was yelling at her like an ass. What it basically came down to was her lack of self confidence; she said she wanted to be someone else." I sighed as I typed the words.

It took a few minutes for him to reply, but when he did, it hit me straight in the gut. "Haven't you ever wanted to be someone else? Have you ever felt so low that you literally wanted to slip out of your body and just be anyone who wasn't you? I know I have. If you actually have feelings for her, give her a break."

I understood what he meant more than I wanted to. I felt that way for a long time. High school had been torture for me. I was never part of the popular crowd; I was never really part of _any_ crowd. Even to this day, I kept to myself. Most of my friends, aside from Garrett, lived in my computer.

I just wish she had trusted me more.

—SE—

I stared at my phone, reading and re-reading Bella's latest text message. She'd taken a new approach the past few days. Every day she would text me a personal fact about herself. It was as if she was trying to let me know that even though their pictures didn't match, the person I started talking to so many weeks ago was still my Bella.

Some of them had been silly, like the fact that she had memorized all the words to Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire because her dad bet her she couldn't do it. She still knew them all to this day. Some of them were heartbreaking, which was what today's was. I learned that for almost her whole freshman year of high school, she was bullied for being overweight. When she told her mom, she'd replied with, 'If you would just eat better and lose a few pounds, it wouldn't be an issue.' I didn't understand how a mother could be so cruel to her daughter. I'd apparently lucked out with my parents, no matter how much they annoyed me.

I couldn't just let this one go by. I couldn't let her share these things with me and leave her feeling rejected. "You're beautiful the way you are," I replied to her text.

I hadn't expected my phone to ring almost immediately. I stared at my phone as her number flashed across the screen, knowing that I had to make a quick decision on whether I was going to answer.

"Hey," I said quietly.

Her voice was thick with tears. "I'm so sorry, Edward."

"I know. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all. Why don't you trust me, Bella?"

"I did. I _do_. I do trust you. I just wanted to feel wanted. I wanted to know what it felt like to have someone lust after me, to tell me I was beautiful. I don't like being _me_ very much."

"You must be seeing something different from me, then. Even while you're crying, you're stunning, Bella. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at your picture this past week. It's going to take me some time; you hurt me, but I still... I still care about you."

I heard her push out a deep breath. "Can we still be friends?"

"Friends? No." I wanted way more than to be her friend. I truly believed that she was the person I'd come to love. She could have continued to lie when I called her out on everything, but she hadn't. She'd finally been honest.

"Oh," she said in a voice thick with tears. "I thought—"

"If we're going to do this, we're working on a relationship. Bella, I want to be more than just friends with you."

"You said that you needed time, so I thought you'd rather be friends." She sniffed.

"I do need time, but that doesn't mean I don't want you. I need time to get to know _you_ better. I want us to be able to trust each other. I still want a relationship with you."

"You've only seen my face, Edward, the rest…" She trailed off.

"Show me?" I pleaded.

She hesitated for a moment. "I'm... I'm not ready for that."

I wouldn't push her, for now, and I was thankful for her honesty. "That's okay. We'll get there. And when we do, I know I'll love what I see."

* * *

**A/N: Hi Guys! I just wanted to say sorry that I haven't been replying to reviews as regularly, my son keeps me pretty busy, and this past week he has been sick. I still read every single one, and they are usually the highlight of my day. So please, leave a review, and hopefully I'll be able to start getting back to them! **


	8. Chapter 8

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

Thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for being my beta and Sara aka Nikki Black and Sukiethree for pre-reading!

—SE—

"You have hardly anything in your closet but jeans and oversized t-shirts."

Alice and Angela stood side by side in front of my closet.

I threw myself back onto my bed. "Okay, and?"

"How could you feel good about yourself if you're always walking around in baggy clothes?" Alice huffed at me.

"I think it's the extra sixty pounds I'm carrying around that makes me feel like crap." I rolled my eyes.

Apparently it was Angela's turn to speak. "Bella, I've known you for a few years now, and I _know _that in those few years you've lost at least, what? Thirty pounds? Why aren't you showing it off more? I've seen you in something more form fitting on occasion, and your shape is amazing the way it is _now. _I don't think you need to lose sixty pounds."

"My thighs still rub together when I walk, my belly is _far _from flat. How can I ever let Edward see me like this?" I gestured to my body.

Alice groaned. "Okay, first off, who's to say if you lost sixty pounds your thighs wouldn't touch? And, who cares? You're a thick girl, with an ass and boobs, and a gorgeous face. I think if Edward saw your whole body he'd want to do dirty things to you. Well, _dirtier_ things than he already wants to do." Alice wiggled her eyebrows, sending Angela into a fit of giggles.

I shook my head at them both. "What is the point of this afternoon?"

"To get you some new clothes!" they said in unison. It was kind of creepy.

"I don't have money for that."

Angela let out a heavy sigh. "You literally go to school, work, pay what few bills you have and do nothing else. I _know_ you have something saved. Just a few things? I think it'll make you feel better. We could even take some pictures for Ed—"

"Don't push it," I growled at her. "Will it shut you two up if I go?"

"Yes!" they both yelled, once again in unison. I should have never introduced them.

—SE—

I knew they were there for support; they were nothing like Jessica and Lauren. Alice and Angela had my best interests in mind, but I was still uneasy to shop with them. They couldn't understand the struggle I'd had most of my life to find clothes that fit.

Angela was right earlier when she mentioned that I'd lost at least thirty pounds. Once I was out of my mother's grasp, I was able to diet how I saw fit. There was no one in my house to make comments about the days I slipped up and ate too much, or to tell me what foods I should or shouldn't eat. There was no one _constantly_ _watching me_. I should have felt on top of the world. I went from 220 pounds to 190 in about a year and a half, but when I looked in the mirror or stood on the scale, I just saw someone who had so much further to go. I saw the stretch marks on my belly, and all the other imperfections.

"Why don't we try Torrid? I've heard from a few other girls that they have a lot of cute stuff," Alice interrupted my thoughts.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess so."

"Okay, great!"

We pulled into the parking lot of the mall and headed inside.

"Hey, welcome to Torrid," the salesperson greeted us. She was a bit taller than me and maybe just a little bit heavier. It put me at ease to know she wouldn't be judging me. "Is there anything you're looking for in particular?"

Angela spoke up. "Bella here hasn't updated her wardrobe in a really long time, so we're looking for just a few new things for her. Maybe a couple of pairs of jeans and tops. Maybe a dress? What about some new bras?"

The sales girl smiled brightly. "Okay, well, I'll show you some of my favorite things that we just got in!"

—SE—

Almost three hours and four hundred dollars later, the girls finally dropped me off at home. I threw the bags on my bed to deal with later. I grabbed my laptop, turning it on while sitting down on the couch.

Once I logged on to Instant Messenger, I glanced at my friends list, noticing Edward's name was nowhere to be found. I grabbed my cell phone and quickly pulled up his number. We'd definitely grown a bit closer, and I no longer hesitated to call him if I wanted to hear his voice.

"Hey!" he answered after a few rings.

"Hey. You weren't online when I signed on," I complained.

"Yeah, class ran a little long. I just walked in the door. What did you get up to today?"

I groaned, rubbing a hand over my face. "Angela and Alice dragged me shopping."

"Oh? Anything you'll let me see?" he teased.

"Edward…" I sighed.

"Hey, it was worth a shot. There's actually something I want to talk to you about, baby."

I felt my heart rate pick up. I still loved it when he called me that. "What is it?"

"Okay, hear me out. Summer break is in, what? Four months? I'm not taking any classes over the summer, so I was thinking maybe I could fly out to see you."

I gasped loudly. "_Oh_! I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"Don't say no. Not yet, please? I wish you felt comfortable with me, Bella. I love you. _All _of you."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "You haven't even seen all of me yet. How could you know that?"

"Your personality, who you are inside, is first and foremost what I'm attracted to. I'm not gonna lie, your dirty mind and the things that come out of your mouth? That helps, too. Then there's your face, your absolutely gorgeous face. I don't know how I couldn't be attracted to _all_ of you."

"But I'm—"

"Ask me what my type of woman is," he interrupted.

"Edward—"

He growled. "Ask me!"

"Fine," I sighed. "What do you look for in a woman?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" I couldn't help but laugh quietly at his silliness. "Someone who's sweet and caring, who makes me laugh. Maybe a little perverted at times?"

"You make me sound so dirty! So what if I like the word cock?"

He choked, coughing on whatever he was drinking, but recovered quickly. "That's what I'm talking about, baby! Now as for her body? Brunette for sure, and I like thick thighs and big tits. I don't want some rail thin girl, I want someone _real. _Someone I can grab onto."

I breathed out hard. "How do I know you're not just telling me what you think I want to hear?"

"I can send you my recent browser history. You can look at all the porn I watch. I think you'll find a common ground in it."

I let out a surprised laugh. "Are you horny today, Edward?"

"Maybe. I've been thinking about you all fucking day."

I still couldn't wrap my head around it. I didn't get how he could be so sure that he wanted me without having seen my body. "Me?"

His voice dropped. "There's no one else on the phone, is there?"

"Smartass."

He sighed softly. "Anyway, you went shopping? What did you buy?"

"Too much. Jeans and tops. The girls convinced me to get a few skirts. Some new bras." I wasn't too sure what came over me when I decided to tell him that. It felt as if the way he'd been talking about me and my body gave me the smallest confidence boost, and I wanted to tease him a bit.

"Well, you've got my attention. What kind of bras are we talkin'? Lace? Satin?"

An idea popped into my head. "Can I call you right back?"

"Oh, uh, yeah?"

I hung up quickly before dialing Alice's number.

"Hey, what's up?" she answered.

"I want to send Edward a picture. Not a full picture, but _something. _Can I send it to you first? Can you be honest with me?"

"Yes!" she squealed.

"Okay. I'll text you." I hurried off the phone.

—SE—

He liked boobs. That much was obvious, and well, I had them. I threw on one of my new bras and looked at myself in the mirror. I liked the cleavage that it created, but as my gaze drifted lower, down toward my belly, I cringed. He couldn't see that.

I did my best to snap a few selfies that I felt okay with and also showed a good amount of cleavage, and sent them off to Alice.

My phone rang a couple of minutes later, Alice's number popping up on the screen.

She started talking before I could even say hello. "The second one, you _have_ to send him the secondone. He's going to die. Your boobs; oh, my God!"

"You think so?"

"Yes! Send it!" she all but yelled and hung up.

I pulled up his name and added the picture. I quickly pressed send before I could lose my nerve.

It hardly took a minute before my phone started to ring.


	9. Chapter 9

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

Thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for being my beta and Sara aka Nikki Black and Sukiethree for pre-reading!

—SE—

"You're trying to kill me. You are literally trying to kill me," he groaned when I answered the phone.

"_What?" _I laughed.

"That picture—your—I mean—_fuck. _You're _gorgeous. _And those—_Jesus. _I don't know how you don't see how beautiful you are, Bella. Inside and out. What made you decide to send me that? Not that I'm complaining, but I never expected it."

"I, well, I honestly don't know. I just feel like you've been open and honest with me from the beginning, and you deserve—"

"Wait one second. Don't you dare do or say what you think I _deserve._ Don't ever make yourself uncomfortable on my account. I'll never push you."

I drew in a deep breath. "I don't know when I'll be ready to show you _all_ of me, but I didn't mind sending this. You kind of turned me on earlier telling me what you found attractive."

"I did, did I?" His voice had turned husky, something I noticed happened when he was turned on. The sound of it went straight to my core.

"Yeah. You really did."

"You know what else turns me on, Bella?"

I felt my heart begin to race. "What?"

"The thought of you spread out on my bed, my face in between your thighs, sucking on your pretty little clit. You moaning my name while I make you come and then I slide deep inside of you."

I took a shaky breath. I couldn't remember a time when I had been _this _turned on. "Holy fuck, Edward."

"You like that idea, baby? You like that I want to give you this cock?"

I moaned softly, my hand slipping into my panties and rubbing small circles on my clit. "Yeah, I want that."

"Are you touching yourself? Are you pretending it's me, Bella? I've got my hand wrapped around my cock, imagining that it's your pussy, and how slick and warm you'd feel. I just keep thinking about that picture, about your tits... _fuck_,_ baby_." He groaned loudly.

"Oh," I moaned once again. His words, the sound of his voice, the mental images he was putting into my mind, were sending me over the edge. I felt so close. "God, I want you so bad, I want to feel you inside me."

"One day, baby," he grunted. "One day I'm going to fuck you senseless. I'm gonna watch those tits bounce and—_fuck. _I'm gonna come. Come with me, _please_."

I gasped loudly, my eyes shut tightly as the orgasm wracked my body. "Holy crap. That was…"

I heard him chuckle quietly. "Yeah. Yeah, that was... something else. Shit."

"And you said _I _had a dirty mouth!"

"Yeah, well, maybe you're rubbing off on me," he teased.

"Oh, I'll rub something of yours off."

He let out a loud laugh. "I'll hold you to that. Can I ask you something though?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Will you think about letting me visit you this summer? I really want to see you, to spend time with you. I love you."

I leaned back against my couch and closed my eyes. "Yeah, I'll think about it. I love you, too."

—SE—

"I'm dying here, Bella! You sent him _that _picture? Damn, girl!" Angela giggled and handed my phone back before we clocked in.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't stop the blush from forming on my cheeks. "Yeah. He was, uh, pretty excited."

A whole new set of giggles started from Angela, and this time I couldn't help but join in. "So did you…"

"M-hm."

"Have you seen his…" She waggled her eyebrows.

"_Angela_!"

"What? Guys _love_ to send girls pictures of their dick when they don't even _ask_!"

"I'm not having this conversation with you. _Anyway, _he asked to come visit this summer."

"Oh! Are you excited?" she asked.

"I told him I needed to think about it."

"Bella…"

I fidgeted. "I don't know if I'm ready for that, Ang. It's a _big_ step."

"It is, but what's stopping you? Do you really think after his reaction to your picture, that he's going to think you're any less attractive when he sees, what, three more feet of your body?"

I felt my eyes starting to sting. I couldn't cry, at least not at work. "I'm trying. I'm _trying_ to see what you, Alice, and Edward see, but I don't know. I'm just confused. I've been told I'm not worth anyone's time for so long."

Angela sighed heavily. "You need to let him come visit, Bella. I think he's good for you."

"But what if I'm not good enough for _him_? What if he gets tired of me?_"_

"Seriously? You do know that your mom, Jessica, and Lauren are just really insecure people, don't you? That since they can't see past their _own_ insecurities, they just project it on to you. It's not _you_,it's _them_."

I sighed and nodded, my mind searching and trying to find what my mom could be so insecure about that she'd make her only child feel like crap for a good portion of her life. As for Lauren and Jessica? I was starting to think Alice had been right in her assumptions; they were just bitches.

—SE—

As soon as I got home, I dialed Edward's number before I lost my nerve. It felt as if it rang forever before he finally picked up. "Hey! I was just getting ready to call you, how are you, baby?"

"I'm okay." I said quietly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" His voice gave away his concern.

"I've just been thinking. I talked to Angela about you visiting, and, well, I think you should come."

I heard him inhale sharply. "You're serious?" The excitement in his voice was evident.

"Yeah."

"You don't sound too sure about this, Bella. If you're not ready—"

I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the lump building in my throat. "I don't know if I'll ever be ready, Edward. I'm terrified for you to see all of me and decide that you're not attracted to me in that way. I'm terrified that you'll get tired of my lack of self confidence. I'm working on it, I'm trying but—I'm just scared."

"Baby," he whispered. "I get it, I know you don't think I really do, but I _do_. What if I get there, and everything I do annoys you? What if you don't like how I chew, or what if I hog all the blankets? There's always a _what if_, but I _know _that I love you for what is _inside_. As far as your outside; from what I can see, I won't be disappointed."

I took a deep breath, letting his words wash over me. I hoped that one day I'd see myself as he did. "I won't be disappointed either," I reassured him. "I love you for what's inside too, Edward."

"Then _please, _try to trust me," he nearly begged.

"I'm trying," I whispered.

"I know you are. How about we start slow? What about video chatting? You still have control over what I see, and we can work on moving forward."

I hesitated for a moment before deciding that he was right; we needed to start _somewhere. "_Um, yeah. Yeah, we could do that. When do you want to do it?"

"Does now work?"

I sucked in a deep breath. I knew if I didn't agree now, I never would. "Sure. Now works. Just let me set up my laptop."

"I'll see you in a few minutes, baby," he said before hanging up.

I opened my laptop and signed onto Instant Messenger. A few minutes later, a notification that I had a video call popped up on my screen. As nervous as I was, there was a part of me that was so excited to see his face. I held my breath, clicked accept, and suddenly he was there on my screen.


	10. Chapter 10

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

Thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for being my beta and Sara aka Nikki Black and Sukiethree for pre-reading!

—SE—

"Hey, baby." He grinned at me while I sat there staring at him, completely dumbfounded. I thought he was gorgeous in his pictures, but that was nothing compared to seeing him live, or as live as we could get for now. "Bella?" he called out to me, snapping me out of my daze.

I blinked and shook my head. "Hi."

"Hey," he smirked. "You doing okay over there?"

I squirmed a bit in my seat. "Yeah. I'm okay."

"You look beautiful."

I felt myself blush at his compliment and heard him chuckle. "Oh, you're a blusher! I love it. It looks good on you, baby." I felt my cheeks heat further.

I didn't know what to do or to say. I felt awkward while we essentially sat there gazing at each other.

"You're always so chatty on the phone. Is this so different, Bella?"

"I mean, yeah, kind of. I've never done this before, and I feel like I'm center stage. And you keep glancing down at my boobs."

It was his turn to blush. "Sorry, I didn't know I was being so obvious."

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh. "You were, but it's okay. Maybe I should start wearing turtlenecks if we're going to make this a habit?"

He almost looked panicked for a moment. "Yeah, no. Please don't. I'll behave, I promise," he rushed out while his eyes flicked down one more time. I couldn't keep my laugh in after that.

"You're going to make me think you just like me for my tits."

He ran a hand over his eyes, pushing out a deep breath. "I really am sorry; it's been a long time since I've been so attracted to someone, but it's no excuse."

"It really is fine. Let's change the subject. Show me your room or something!"

We chatted for hours, occasionally staring at one another as if we couldn't get enough of seeing the other's face. While I still felt unsure about my body, somehow, video chatting with him had ever so slightly eased my fears. There wasn't any way that I didn't want to be in the same room as him.

—SE—

When Monday came around, I sighed heavily as I walked up to my first class and noticed that Jessica was standing outside of the door waiting for me. I had no choice but to acknowledge her. "Hey, Jess."

She arched her eyebrow at me. "_Hey, Jess, _is that really all you've got to say? We haven't gotten together outside of class in almost a month, and when we _are_ in class, Alice is always hanging around you. I'm starting to think you like her better than me."

"It's not that—"

She glared at me, then smirked. "Really? Then what is it? I mean, look at you. Did _she_ tell you that top looked good? It's way too tight for someone _your _size. She's no good for you, Bella."

I opened my mouth, but nothing would come out. Jessica had always given me backhanded compliments, but for some reason, her being so blunt this time stung worse than normal. Maybe it was because I was finally able to see her for who she really was. I was just starting to gain some confidence, and here she was stomping all over me at the first chance and trying to keep me down.

"You know I'm right. I can't believe she let—"

"_Shut up,_ Jessica!" Her words caused something to snap inside of me. I was tired of her, I was tired of Lauren, and I was tired of my mother. "No one _let_ me do anything. I'm a grown woman who can make my own decisions on what I put on my body. I'm sorry you feel so badly about yourself that you've felt the need to make _me _feel bad for years. I'm done with you putting me down."

I didn't give her time to answer before I turned and walked away. I hadn't missed a class yet, so I could stand to skip it once. I sent Alice a quick text asking for any assignments and telling her I'd see her later.

Taking a deep breath, I slid into my car. There was only one person I wanted to talk to right now, so I pulled out my phone and dialed Edward's number.

He answered after a few rings. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be in class?"

I completely lost it at the sound of his voice. "Edward," I sobbed.

"Bella, baby, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"No," I gasped, trying to calm myself. "No, I'm not hurt, but Jessica is just _so mean_, and I don't know what I've done to deserve it."

"Oh, sweetheart, what did she do?"

I let my head fall back against the seat. "I put on one of the outfits I bought the other day. Honestly, for the first time in _forever,_ because of you, Alice, and Angela, I looked in the mirror and I didn't completely hate what I saw. I didn't love it, but I felt okay. I almost felt... good, even. And then when Jessica saw me, well, she said some really mean things."

I swore I heard him growl. "I can tell you right now you looked better than just _nice_, Bella. You looked _gorgeous _today_. _She's just a petty bitch who doesn't know shit."

I scoffed quietly. "How do you know how I looked? You can't even see me."

"Anything that is on your body is beautiful. I hate that I can't be there to hold you and kiss away your tears. My heart is broken over it, baby."

"You have no clue how much I want that right now, too. I couldn't think of anyone else that I wanted to talk to after everything that happened."

"Bella?" I could hear the nerves In his voice, and it set me on edge.

"Yeah?" I asked hesitantly.

"I know it's still a ways away, but my spring break is in mid-March, and—"

"Yes. Yes, I want you to come. I need to see you, to be with you."

He let out a breath that he must have been holding. "You're sure? We can still wait, I don't want you to feel pressured. When you called me crying like that though, fuck, I was ready to hop on a plane and hunt down whoever hurt you. Hell, I still am. I know I shouldn't hit a girl, but I'm sure I could probably pay Alice or Angela to."

"They'd gladly do it for free, I'm sure. I want you here, but I'm terrified. What if—"

"Bella!" he nearly shouted. "Is the day ever going to come when you realize I don't love you with conditions? Look, I know we haven't known each other that long, and we've already had some bumps, but I love you no matter what. I've told you before, but I'll tell you again and again, I fell in love with what's _inside_: your personality, your kind heart, the way you make me smile. Your outside is just a very nice bonus to me."

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but I'm trying. I'm trying to wrap my head around it all," I said quietly.

"I know you are, baby."

I'd felt this way about myself since I was a little girl, so I knew nothing would be fixed overnight. I'd been making slow progress though, and between Edward and my actual friends, maybe one day I _would _feel good about myself.


	11. Chapter 11

—SE—

_Panic_. I tried taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, but I still felt nothing but pure panic.

I wanted him to visit, even though I still had so many doubts. I needed to try to believe his words; he loved me no matter what and he _wanted _me no matter what. Some days, logic won out and I was able to calm my ever-present anxiety. But it was on days like today where logic was hidden and it felt as if all my fears were on the surface of my skin, slowly seeping into my pores, that I had trouble.

On occasion, I could look in the mirror and notice my long hair, how it was shiny and healthy, that my eyes were bright and happy. I'd glance lower and take in the curve of my waist, thinking about how Edward's hands would feel gripping me there while his mouth was pressed against mine. It was a huge improvement because the fact was, I used to hate myself _every day_.

But today was a bad day. I could feel tears starting to flow as I turned to the side in the mirror. I noticed how my stomach protruded, how there was visible cellulite on my thighs. All I could think was if I just ate a little better, if I just worked out more, I wouldn't be here feeling like this.

I wiped the tears from my eyes, taking another deep breath. I wanted to call out sick from work and wallow in my misery, but I couldn't leave Angela hanging. I reluctantly got dressed and headed out the door.

—SE—

"Hey, what's going on with you?" Angela asked after handing off a coffee to a customer.

I glanced around the room before speaking. "I'm just having an off day, I guess."

"It looks like more than an off day. Aren't you excited that Edward is going to be here on Saturday?"

He'd be here in five days. When I first agreed to let him visit, it had been a month away. My nerves hadn't gotten the best of me at that point because I had _time. _I was sure that in four weeks I could drop ten pounds if I just tried hard enough. But time was up now, and I'd lost exactly nothing.

"I want to be excited, but I'm nervous as hell. Only you and Alice know he's visiting. My dad would do a background check on him, and I'm pretty sure my mom would tell me he'd take one look at me and get back on the plane."

"Bella—"

"I'm not really in the mood for a pep talk, Angela," I snapped.

She glared at me and moved to wipe down the counter.

"I'm sorry." I spoke quietly, but I knew she heard me. "I don't mean to be so snappy, but I'm scared shitless. I know what he says, that he loves me, that he likes thick girls—"

"Bella, please stop."

I gasped, turning around slowly. My eyes went wide when I saw him standing there. "_Edward_?"

"Surprise?" He shrugged his shoulders.

It felt as if my heart was trying to burst through my chest. "But _how_?"

He stepped closer to the counter, and I moved toward him. "I spoke to my professors, got my assignments, and, well, here I am."

"Bella?" Angela called to me, and I glanced over at her. "Seth is coming in early, so get out of here."

I nodded, turning my gaze back toward Edward. "Thanks," I whispered as I pulled my apron off, tossing it to her before making my way around the counter.

"Hey, baby," he said softly, reaching his hand out for me.

My breath caught in my throat and my heart raced as I gripped his hand, feeling his skin against mine for the first time. He was here early and I had no time to prepare. I'd been so wrapped up in feeling badly this morning that I hadn't taken the time to do my makeup, and I'd just thrown anything on, not caring what I looked like because I felt it wouldn't change anything, anyway.

The fingers on his other hand twitched nervously before he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "Come on, take me back to your place so I can drop my stuff off, and then we can get something to eat."

I bit my lip and nodded. "Yeah, okay."

—SE—

The silence inside the car was so thick, we could have cut it with a knife. It had never been like this in all the months we'd known each other, on the phone or via Skype; it'd never felt so uncomfortable. I felt his eyes on me as we pull into the driveway.

"Are you okay?" His voice was just barely above a whisper.

"I don't know," I said, refusing to give him anything but honesty. "I was having a really bad day today. When you showed up, I felt like I should be having a really good day since you're here. I want to, but I... I don't know. I'm not making any sense. I'm really nervous."

He reached across the console and grabbed my hand, twinning our fingers together again. "I'm not stupid enough to think I'm a cure-all for your problems, Bella. It's okay if you're having a bad day. I want to be here, regardless."

I looked over at him, meeting his eyes. "This wasn't how I expected it to go the first time we met face to face."

"What were you expecting?" He moved to get out of the car, and I followed suit.

I tugged at my shirt as I stood up. "Well, first off, I planned to do my hair and makeup. I had an outfit all picked out; one I felt really good about, not some ratty jeans and a T-shirt."

He grabbed my forearm, stopping me in my tracks. He spun me around to face him. "You are literally the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen. Makeup or no makeup, you're beautiful."

"Thank you." I gave him a timid smile.

He smiled when I didn't argue with him like I normally would. I was trying to take his words as truth.

"Thank _you_ for not telling me I was wrong for once. Just because _you_ don't see your beauty all the time yet, doesn't mean I don't."

—SE—

It was going to take some time getting used to the fact that Edward was inside my house and not on a computer screen.

"Do you care if we just order in? I think I'd like to keep you to myself tonight. There's a really good pizza place not far from here."

He scrunched up his face.

"What?" I demanded.

"Pizza just isn't good anywhere else but New York, sweetheart."

I laughed. "Seriously? You're a pizza snob?"

"You ever have good New York pizza, baby?"

I shook my head. "I've had New York-_style_ pizza, but I've never been outside of Washington except for Oregon."

"Oh, we've got to fix that. It'll change your fuckin' life." His accent was especially pronounced as he spoke.

"Maybe one day I'll make it out there. So, _no_ to pizza. How about Chinese?"

"Yeah, that sounds perfect."

—SE—

After we'd eaten dinner and everything was cleaned up, we sat back down on the couch. I watched as Edward shifted in his seat.

"Is something wrong?" I asked him.

"You _are _okay with me staying here, aren't you? I never really asked, I just assumed. I could get a hotel."

"No. I want you here. As nervous as I am, I've imagined what it would be like to be wrapped up in your arms all night, to kiss you and feel you against me."

His nervous fidgeting resumed. "I'm a virgin," he suddenly blurted out. My eyebrows rose at his admission.

"A... virgin? As in you've never…?"

His eyes were cast down as he nodded. "Yeah. I've never had sex."

"Edward, look at me," I pleaded as his eyes slowly met mine. "Me, too," I whispered.

He stared at me for a moment before he leaned in, pressing his lips roughly against mine. "I get to be your first. There's no rush, we'll take our time getting there, but I'm so glad I'll get share this with you. I love you."

"I love you, too." I grinned at him. "I get to be _your _first, too."

It was moments like these that I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have found him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Can I ask you something without offending you?" I glanced over at Edward.

"You can ask me anything you want." He gripped my hand and tugged me closer to him.

"Well, I'm just wondering... how the hell are _you_ a virgin? Look at you!"

"I could ask you the same question, Bella. Not to be crude, but, those tits, and that ass, plus your personality? I think you underestimate what most guys are looking for. But, as for your question, well, I've only ever had one girlfriend, you know, that lived near me. And, um, that was in ninth grade."

I watched his cheeks pinken with that admission and squeezed his hand. "You're the first boyfriend I've _ever_ had_. _You've got one up on me." I shrugged.

"I don't know why."

I raised an eyebrow and opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off before I could. "Don't," he said sharply. "I know how you feel about yourself, Bella, but you don't get to tell me how _I _feel about you. You don't get to decide if I find you beautiful. You tell me that I'm attractive, hot, whatever you want to call it, and I've never once told you that you were wrong. It makes me feel good that you think of me that way, even when I don't. Can't you just let yourself feel good that _I _see you like that?"

"You're right," I whispered. I needed to try not to project how I felt about myself onto everyone around me.

"I know I'm right." He pulled me so that I was sitting on his lap. I tried as best as I could not to feel uncomfortable in that moment. "Whatever you're thinking right now, Bella, you need to stop."

"I'm trying. It's just—"

"Bella." He gripped my face in his hands and kissed me softly on the lips. "Do you feel what you do to me?" His voice was rough as he pushed his hips up, and I gasped at the feeling of him hard beneath me. "Do you feel how much I want you?"

It was as if my body was running on instinct as I ground my hips back against him. "Oh, that feels so good," I whimpered.

His hands slid down my body, hovering over my chest. "Can I touch you?"

I nodded and closed my eyes as his hands cupped my breasts, his thumbs rubbing slow circles on my nipples through my shirt. "Oh God_._ You have no clue how badly I want to see you." He groaned, and I felt him harden further beneath me.

"I—um—" I stuttered over my words.

"It's okay. I know. I'll never push you," he whispered before pressing his lips against mine once again, his hands still cupping my breasts.

"It's not that I don't want to. Can we start slowly? Maybe in the bedroom where it isn't so bright?"

"We can go as fast or as slow as you want, Bella." He nipped at my neck.

"Let's go to the bedroom, then."

—SE—

We both changed into our pajamas before we slipped into my bed, him in his boxers and a T-shirt, while I was in a tank top and sleep shorts. "Are you okay?" His gaze drifted from my face down to my chest, where my nipples hardened under his gaze.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I sighed softly.

"I love you."

"Are you talking to me or my tits, Edward?" I smirked.

"Shh, Bella, the girls and I are having a moment."

"You're crazy." I laughed, thankful that he knew exactly how to lighten the situation.

"But you love me." He leaned in, pressing a rough kiss to my mouth. "Show me?" he murmured against my lips. I nodded and took a deep breath. I was nervous, but I didn't feel pressured by him. I knew if I said no, we'd stop instantly. I had never been naked, or even semi-naked, in front of another person. With Edward, I felt ready.

I slid my arms out of the straps of the tank top, sliding it up and off to reveal my breasts. Even though it was dark in the room, aside from the moon that was shining in through the window, I could feel the heat of his gaze on me. He groaned softly. "You're so beautiful." The reverence in his voice was unmistakable. "Can I?"

"Yes," I said quietly as I closed my eyes, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth.

He started by slowly brushing a few strands of hair out of my face before slowly running his fingers over my cheek. He ran his thumb over my bottom lip, pulling it free from my teeth. "I love you," he breathed in my ear. As his fingers skimmed down my chest, he cupped one of my breasts in his hand. I gasped as his thumb softly stroked my nipple. It was as if my body became alive for the first time under his touch.

The fact that this body—the one I'd been taught to hate for as long as I could remember—brought both me and Edward some form of pleasure confused me, but I had no intention of stopping him.

He moved in closer, pressing soft kisses to my chest before his lips wrapped around my nipple, a quiet groan escaping him. I clenched my eyes shut. The feeling was overwhelming and shot straight to my center. I couldn't stop the moan that fell from my lips. That was, until I felt his hand start to slide toward my belly and I flinched, a detail that didn't go unnoticed by him.

"It's okay." His voice was deeper than normal. "It's okay, Bella. It's only me. I love you. I want to touch you, make you feel good. But not if it's too much."

I breathed a soft sigh. "It's _so_ much, but I want it. I want you," I assured him. Even in the dark I could see the grin on his face, as if he'd just been given the best gift. His hand continued further down until he reached the band of my shorts, his fingers dipping in. I heard him take a deep breath as he spoke.

"I've never, um, I've never—" He stopped.

It seemed I wasn't the only one feeling a bit self-conscious. "And I've never been touched by someone else. We'll learn together."

"I like that idea." He kissed me deeply, his fingers slipping past my panties this time and trailing through my slick folds. "Shit," he hissed. "You're so wet."

"_You_ make me this wet," I moaned as he continued to explore me with his fingers. I gasped when he finally found my clit. "Right there," I whimpered, and he softly began to rub his thumb against it.

"Like that?" His eyes found mine, looking for reassurance.

"Yeah, oh God." I groaned as one of his fingers found my entrance and he slipped it inside. It was the first time I'd been touched there, _ever._ "Don't stop, _please_," I begged.

He leaned down, wrapping his lips around my nipple once more, and that was all it took. My pussy clamped around his finger as I cried out, my back arching off the bed. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before.

Once I caught my breath, I glanced down at his body, noticing the bulge in his boxers. "Can I?" I asked, resting my hand on his stomach. He nodded. "I've never done this either; you'll have to teach _me _now." I ran my fingers over the outline of his cock before sliding my hand beneath his boxers and wrapping my fingers around him.

"Oh _fuck_._" _He grunted as I began to work my hand slowly up and down his length. "Just a little tighter, like this." He grasped my hand with his, showing me just the right way to touch him.

I watched as his chest rose and fell and he brought his bottom lip between his teeth, his hips thrusting up into my hand. I had never seen anything so erotic in my life as Edward falling apart.

His breathing picked up as he groaned. "I'm gonna come. Fuck, I'm gonna—"

I felt him, warm and sticky, coating my hand.

"Holy shit, Bella." He chuckled while catching his breath. "That was—wow."

I reached over, grabbing a few tissues off my nightstand for him and myself, before I laid down beside him, curling around him. "I love you."

"Love you, too," he mumbled before I heard his breathing even out as he fell asleep.

—SE—

I was woken the next morning by someone pounding on my front door. I climbed out of bed quickly, throwing my robe on as I made my way to the door. I pulled it open a crack and peeked out, before swinging it open completely.

"_Mom_? What are you doing here?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"_Mom_? What are you doing here?" It was completely unlike her to go so far out of her way to stop by.

"You haven't been out to see your father and me for weeks, Isabella! If you stopped answering our calls, we'd have thought you were dead!" She huffed dramatically, as if she was actually concerned for my well-being.

"Seriously, Mom, what are you doing here? It's not as if Seattle is just around the corner for you."

"Oh, Bella." She sighed. "Look, I just came to shop and treat myself a bit. Can't I stop by and visit my daughter, too?" She pushed past me into the house at the exact same moment that Edward walked out of my bedroom in just his boxers. "_Bella_?"Mom gasped and turned toward me.

"Oh, sh—I'll just…" Edward stammered and rushed back into the bedroom.

I could tell what was about to come out of her mouth. "Don't, Mom."

"But, Bella, he's _gorgeous_.How did _you_—"

"Mrs. Swan?" Edward emerged from the bedroom, this time in sweats and a t-shirt. "I'm not wanting to step on any toes or anything, and I know you don't know me, but I'd stop and think about what's going to come out of your mouth. Bella is too sweet to kick you out, but me? Not so much. I won't have anyone talkin' down to my girl in front of me _or _behind me."

I just stared at him, eyes wide. No one besides my father had ever stood up to my mother like that. Most of the time, if we were around strangers or, even worse, family, I'd just get awkward looks or sad smiles when she decided to belittle me.

"Bella! Who is this man and are you going to let him speak to your mother like this?" she exclaimed.

"His name is Edward, and that depends." I turned toward her. "Were you going to ask how someone like me could land a guy as hot as him? Were you going to ask _why_ someone like him would be with someone like _me_?Were you going to put me down about my weight again and make me feel bad about myself so you could feel good? Because if so, yes, I will let him speak to you like that. I'm done. _He_ sees me as beautiful, and somewhere, deep inside of me, I'm finally starting to see it, too."

"Isabella, you can't be serious." She rolled her eyes. "I've only ever done what I thought was best for you. He's going to get his fill and move onto someone—"

"You can go now, Renee." I walked over to the door and flung it open. I didn't even want to know how she was going to finish her sentence. "Tell Dad I'll see _him_ for dinner next week," I said as she stormed past me, and then I slammed the door.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked as he pulled me against his chest.

I was quiet for a moment, trying to figure that out for myself. "You know what? I am. It sucks because she's my mom, but she has the choice to be in my life and to not treat me badly. It's up to her. Thank you for standing up for me."

"I'd do it again and again, baby." He tilted my chin up before placing a soft kiss to my lips. "I'll _always _have your back."

—SE—

"I want to keep you all to myself, but I know Angela and Alice are probably dying from waiting." I sighed and rolled my eyes.

He grinned from his spot on the couch before reaching out and grabbing my wrist, pulling me down onto his lap. I tensed for a moment just like the last time, which didn't go unnoticed by him. "You're fine," he crooned in my ear. "I like you here on my lap, so get any negative thoughts out of your head."

I let go of the breath I hadn't realized I was holding and cuddled up against him, laying my head on his chest. "I like being on your lap, it's just not easy to clear my head of a lifetime of being put down. I'm getting there."

"You are. I'm so proud of what you told your mom, Bella. That took a lot of strength." He ran his fingers slowly through my hair as I closed my eyes.

"It felt good. _Really _good."

"It felt good watching it, so I can only imagine how good it felt to _do_ it." He placed a kiss to the top of my head. "So, Angela and Alice; what are the plans with them?"

"I thought we'd go out to dinner." I shrugged. "Does that sound okay?"

"It's perfect, baby."

—SE—

"Oh, you are _way_ hotter in person." Alice grinned as she walked up to Edward. He held his hand out for her but she bypassed that, wrapping him in a tight hug.

"You can stop feeling up my boyfriend anytime now, Alice." I narrowed my eyes at her teasingly.

"But everything is just so... hard and firm." She giggled, and I couldn't help joining in as Edward turned bright red.

He rolled his eyes. "Are you ladies done talking about me like I don't exist?"

"Fine."Alice huffed and let go of him. "So where's Angela?" Alice asked as a waitress came and took us to our seats.

"She said to start without her; she's not sure if she can make it because someone called out."

"So it's up to me to lead the inquisition?" She raised an eyebrow at Edward.

"Give me your worst." Edward leaned back in the seat, crossing his arms over his chest.

Alice nodded and pursed her lips for a second, taking the time to form her first question. "Okay, I'm just going to start here. How do you plan to continue making this relationship work while you're so far away from Bella?"

"Alice!" I exclaimed, but Edward grasped my hand.

"It's a valid question, one that I'm sure _you've _thought about, too. I sure have. The answer is easy. I'll transfer schools."

"What!"I gasped. "Edward you can't!"

He angled his body toward mine. "If you want me here, if we really think this will work—which I do—then it's the obvious solution."

"But your family!"

"They'll understand, sweetheart. Maybe after college is done, we can move to New York."

"I like that answer," Alice chimed in. "I like that you'd be willing to do anything to make this work."

I sat there staring down at my hands, not sure how to voice all the emotions that were running through me.

Edward called my name. "I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought…"

"You didn't upset me, but you're always doing so much for me. You're always building me up, and now you're ready to uproot your entire life for me! I feel like I give you nothing in return."

"Bella, you give me everything by loving me and just being you. Look, we can discuss all of this later. Why don't you tell Alice how you told off your mom today?"

"You did what? Oh, my God, Bella!"

I gave her a small smile, trying to shake off the heavy feeling I had before launching into everything that transpired with my mother that morning.

—SE—

Later, when Edward and I arrived home, the first thing he did was pull me to him and wrap his arms tightly around me. "I'm sorry. I should have spoken to you about it first. I should have told you my idea in private."

"I probably wouldn't have felt so blindsided that way. I know you say that I'm enough, that you don't need anything else, but—"

"Don't you want me here?" He tilted my face up.

"More than you know."

"Then we'll talk about it more and figure it out together_._ How does that sound?"

I nodded. "Good. That sounds good."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

The two weeks that Edward spent here in Seattle flew by. It felt as if we didn't have nearly enough time together since I had classes I couldn't miss. Thankfully, Seth was eager to pick up a few extra shifts, so I'd been able to get out of work early a few times.

We hit a few tourist spots, typical things like the Space Needle and Pike Place Market, but aside from that we spent most of our days together just relaxing and being with each other. Neither one of us had the desire to be constantly on the go when we could curl up with each other like we'd envisioned for so long.

—SE—

"We don't need to spend your last day here doing this." I sighed.

"Bella, I want to be with you for a very, _very_ long time, and in order to do that I need to meet your father at some point." He gripped my hand, and I couldn't understand how he was so calm about this while I was the one freaking out.

"You're right, it's just the first time I've done something like this."

"It's a first for me, too, remember?" He lifted my hand to his lips, giving it a quick kiss. "But nothing, not even your gun-toting father, will keep me away from you. I'd just rather be on good terms with him."

I nodded. "Come on, let's go, then." I pushed open my door and climbed out of the car.

We were meeting my dad for dinner. He'd driven up from Forks—without my mother—to meet Edward. He was usually a pretty level-headed man, but there was no telling how he'd react to meeting my very first boyfriend; especially one I'd met on the internet and not told him about.

—SE—

"So, Edward, Bella has told me very little about you." Dad sent a glare my way and I recoiled a bit. "She says you're studying computer science at NYU?" Charlie sat back in his seat, eyeing Edward.

"Yes, sir, I am." Edward cleared his throat. "Working with computers has always been a passion of mine."

"Is that so? How passionate about computers were you when you were scoping out the internet and chatting with my daughter?"

"Dad!"I shouted.

Edward choked on his drink. Once he'd regained his composure, he looked my dad straight in the eye. "I wasn't looking to find Bella—or any other girl—that day, sir. We just came across each other, and it's been the best thing that ever happened to me."

Charlie nodded, apparently satisfied with Edward's answer. "I do have one other question for both of you, and this is just from a concerned father's standpoint. How do you plan to make this continue to work when you live across the country from each other?" His gaze traveled between me and Edward.

I sighed, wondering why everyone felt the need to be so involved in this part of our relationship. "We're still talking about that, Dad, but Edward wants to transfer schools and go to UW with me."

Dad turned his gaze on Edward. "Is that so, son?"

"I'd move heaven and earth for your daughter, sir, so, yes, it's true."

Dad reached out and patted Edward on the back. "That's what I like to hear. Oh, and you can call me Charlie, Edward."

I couldn't wipe the grin off my face, knowing my father approved of Edward.

—SE—

Before we left the restaurant, Edward headed to the restroom, and my dad pulled me to the side. "Your mom told me what happened when she came out to see you last week, Bella."

"Are you mad? I know I shouldn't have—"

"No, you did exactly right, honey. Your mom, well, it's a long story, but let's just say she hasn't always been as fit as she is now. It's no excuse, but I think she sees you and thinks about how she wishes someone would have pushed her when she was your age. I've always loved your mother, no matter her size. I've told her time and again that she needs to pull back if she wants a relationship with you; that you're not her. You telling her off how you did may have been the best thing for her."

"She's just always been so... cold." I sighed.

"You never met her mother, she died before you were born, but your mom is an angel compared to her. Hopefully, the three of us can sit down one day and have a long chat. Your mom was dealt a hard hand. I'm not making excuses for her, I'm just trying to let you know why she's the way she is. I should have put my foot down sooner and told you years ago. I failed you there."

"It would have been nice to know all of this about my own mother. I'm sorry she had a difficult childhood, but I'm still not willing to talk to her until she can be respectful of me and Edward."

"I don't blame you there at all, Bells."

Edward came back from the bathroom. I could tell from the look on his face that he'd overheard most of our conversation, but he was going to let it be, at least for now.

—SE—

Morning came way too quickly.

I sat on the edge of the bed, watching as he packed his suitcase. I tried as hard as I could to will myself not to cry, but failed miserably as I sniffled and a few tears slid down my cheeks.

"Hey, don't cry, baby." He sat down beside me, wiping my tears away with his thumb. "I'm going to be back so soon. May isn't all that far away. When I get back to New York, we need to talk more about me transferring to UW. I want to spend my life with you, Bella."

"I want that, too," I said quietly. "I don't want you to have to sacrifice so much, but I want you here. God, do I ever. I didn't know it was possible for me to love you even more than I already did, but I think I do."

He pulled me to him tightly and I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. I couldn't stop the tears in that moment, and I cried quietly into his chest.

"Oh, baby. You're killing me." His voice sounded thick with his own tears. "I love you so fucking much. I promise I'm coming back. Until then, we'll talk on the phone and Skype, just like we were."

I pulled back a bit, glancing up at his face. If I hadn't known previously, I knew now by the pained expression on his face that he was just as affected by our separation as I was. "You're going to miss your flight if we don't leave now."

"Yeah. I guess we should head out." He glanced around the room for a moment. "God, I'm not even gone yet and I can't wait until I'm back here."

—SE—

He held my hand tightly while he checked in and got his boarding pass. Once we were finished there, we walked as slowly as we possibly could to the departures area. "Six weeks, Bella. I'll be back in six weeks, okay?"

"Okay," I mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

"Look at me, Bella. Please," he pleaded.

I glanced up at him and he ran his thumb along my cheek before bending down and pressing a soft, yet passionate kiss to my lips. "Once I'm back here, I'm never leaving. I can't do this again, Bella."

"I can't either." I bit my lip, holding off my tears.

"I've got to go now, sweetheart."

I nodded. "I know. I love you."

"I love you, too," he choked out. He gave my hand a final squeeze before dropping it and stepping into the security line.

When he was fully through, he glanced back at me once more, mouthing that he loved me before he turned and headed toward his gate.

I couldn't keep my tears at bay any longer. I took a seat on the bench closest to me, letting them flow freely.

He'd taken my heart with him, and I couldn't wait for these next six weeks to go by so that he could bring it back to me.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

EPOV

I sat down at the table, watching my mother flutter around the kitchen effortlessly, just as she had my entire life.

Esme Cullen née Russo was Italian through and through while my father, Carlisle, was as Irish as you could get. She cooked too much food, she spoke too loudly, and if you stepped out of line, she'd smack you upside the head and threaten to break your legs if you did it again. She also loved fiercely and was the best mother I could have asked for. I knew my leaving was going to break her heart, but she'd still have my cousin Rosalie and her husband Emmett to feed and boss around.

"Ma?" I called.

"What do you want? The nine months I carried you for wasn't enough?" She smirked at me as she slipped a pan of baked ziti into the oven before closing it.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't keep the smile off my face. "I'm twenty years old, Ma, I think I've paid my dues for you giving birth to me. Seriously, though, I need to talk to you."

She sat down at the table next to me, her eyes full of concern. She sighed. "When do you leave?"

"Wait, what? How did you know?"

"Edward, you're my baby. You've been walking around here these last few weeks like a _chooch_, and I know it's because of this Bella. You love her."

"I can't be apart from her; I need her."

"I know." She patted me on the cheek. "You left me for two weeks to visit her, and I've never even seen her picture. Show me my new daughter."

I grabbed my phone from my pocket, opening up one of the pictures I had of her. "She's beautiful, Edward. You go out to Seattle, be with your Bella, and one day make lots of grandbabies for me and Daddy to spoil. I'll miss you with all my heart, but we'll be okay, _mama_."

It was a rare occurrence, but I could feel the rush of heat to my cheeks, causing my mom to laugh.

—SE—

I closed the door to my room, relaxing back onto my bed. "Today, I told my parents I'm moving to Seattle."

"How did that go?" Bella asked quietly.

"Actually, it went better than I thought it would. My mom can be kind of dramatic at times. She's amazing, but a little over the top. Anyway, she knew before I even told her; said I was walking around like a _chooch _so she just knew. My dad is pretty laid back, just wants me to be happy. I've still got to break it to Garrett."

She giggled. "Wait, she called you a _what?" _

"Basically, she called me a jackass." I chuckled. "I showed her your picture, too. She said you're very beautiful." I purposely chose to leave the part about grandbabies and marriage out.

"Oh, um, speaking of pictures, I took one a bit ago. Do you mind if I send it?"

I heard a bit of nerves and maybe even excitement in her voice. I sat up straighter on my bed, my curiosity piqued. "Sure, go ahead. You know I love getting pictures of you."

"Um, let me just... there, it's sent."

"Okay, just give me a sec." I pulled the phone away from my ear and opened up her text message, almost dropping my phone at the image waiting for me.

She was on her back, arms above her head, in nothing but barely-there red lace. I felt my dick harden to steel almost immediately. "Bella," I groaned into the phone. "Holy fuck."

"Do you like it?" she whispered.

"Do I like it? Oh, baby, _like_ isn't the fucking word. God, Bella, you're beautiful, and so fucking sexy. I can't wait 'til I'm back there with you; the things I'm going to do to you…"

She moaned. "Oh, God, Edward. Tell me. Tell me what you want to do to me."

In the weeks we'd been apart, she'd grown bolder and more sure of herself and my love for her, inside and out. It was no longer an odd occurrence for her to send me a picture of herself almost daily, some much more risqué than others. I always returned the favor. "I've got a better idea, sweetheart. How do you feel about getting on Skype? I want to watch your fingers sliding in and out of your pussy while your fuck yourself."

"Mm, fuck, yes. Hurry up and sign on."

I thanked God that she was willing and signed into Skype as fast as I could, sending her a request to video chat. Almost immediately, she accepted, and her beautiful face was on my screen.

"Show me," I demanded.

"Show you what? This?" She laid back on her bed and I pushed out a deep breath as I took in the sight of her. Aside from a thin sheet that was barely covering her, she was gloriously naked. Her thighs were parted ever so slightly, her tits—God, what those things did to me—were on full display. If it was even possible, my cock hardened further at the sight of her.

"Yeah, _that. _Goddamn, Bella. What's gotten into you?"

"I miss you," she purred. "I miss the feel of your fingers on me, in me. I miss the feel of your lips. Fuck," she moaned as she let the sheet slip away. I watched, groaning as her fingers slid between her slick folds. "Show me your cock, Edward. I want to watch you touch yourself. I want to watch you come," she demanded.

Angling the camera to give her the view that she wanted, I wrapped my hand around my dick, stroking slowly. "I miss you, too, baby. You know what I'm going to do to you when I get there in three weeks?"

"What are you going to do, Edward?" She was breathless as she slipped her fingers in and out of her pussy.

"I'm gonna lay you back on our bed, spread you open wide, and eat the fuck out of that pussy. God, I can't wait to be with you, to be _inside_ you." I gripped my cock tighter, stroking faster, watching as her chest heaved.

"Oh God, oh God, Edward, yes_._" She moaned loudly as she came hard around her fingers. I followed behind her soon after, coming in long spurts all over my hand.

—SE—

The next morning I was up early, hoping I'd get the chance to talk to Garrett before he left for the day.

"Hey, mornin' man," Garrett said as he walked out of the bathroom. I waited for him to grab a mug and pour himself a cup of coffee.

"Mornin'. I was wondering if you had a second before you went to work?"

"When do I need to start looking for a new roommate?" He sat down at the table, taking a sip of his coffee.

"What the fuck? How does everyone know I'm leaving before I tell them?"

He smirked at me. "Man, you've always got this stupid look on your face, and I know your dick must be raw. These walls ain't as thick as you seem to think they are." He raised an eyebrow at me before continuing. "You're in love, and you need to be with your girl."

"Thanks for understanding. I'll pay next month's rent still, okay?"

"Nah, don't worry about it. I'm gonna ask Kate to move in; we've been talking about it recently."

"That's awesome, man."

"Yeah. Anyway, I've got to get to work. Let's try and hang out more while you're still here."

I nodded. "Yeah, definitely. I'll see ya later."

Everything was falling into place nicely. I'd applied for my transfer to UW which my advisor said should go through easily, considering my grades. My parents had accepted that I was moving more easily than I'd expected, and Garrett would be asking his girlfriend to move in, settling the roommate issue.

Now I just had to get through these next three weeks, and then I would have the whole summer to look for a job and to spend time with Bella.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Italian-American slang:**

**Chooch - Jackass/asshole **

**In Italian/Italian American culture "mama" is sometimes used as a term of endearment for a boy or a girl child, just in case you're wondering why I'd have Esme call Edward that. My mom always called me that and I remember it being the most comforting thing in the world. Now I call my son mama, my cousin calls her sons mama, and so on. ;)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter**** 16**

I had washed the sheets, remade the bed, vacuumed, and dusted everything I could get my hands on. I wanted everything to be perfect for him.

"You do know that Edward is the one getting off that plane, and not the Queen of England, right?" Angela laughed as she flopped back on my bed. I glared at her.

"Ang! I just made that bed!" I whined. I was one step away from stomping my foot at her, and it made me realize she was right. I needed to calm down.

"What are you actually worried about?"

I sighed, throwing myself down next to her. "I just want him to be happy here; he's leaving everything he's ever known for me. Sometimes I worry we're moving too fast, but we did really well those two weeks he visited."

"For some people it might be too fast but, honestly, you've both been talking constantly for hours at a time since what? October? I think you know the ins and outs of each other more than most other couples. You're going to be fine. You guys are solid."

"Thanks, Ang." I hugged her tightly. "How about a nap?"

"Oh, thank God, I thought you were going to clean more." She laughed as I swatted at her.

—SE—

"You're here," I breathed out as he stood in front of me. "You're really here." The last six weeks felt as if they'd dragged and flown by all at the same time.

"I am, finally," he whispered, dropping his bag at our feet and pulling me to him tightly. "And I'm not going anywhere this time."

I inhaled his scent, squeezing him back. "I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am."

He pulled back, grinning at me before he kissed me. "Come on, beautiful, let's go get my other bags and get the hell out of here."

—SE—

"Here, you should probably have this."

I turned to him after we climbed the steps of the porch and placed a key to the house in his palm. He grinned at me before stepping in front of me and slipping the key into the lock and turning it.

"Welcome home, Edward," I said quietly as we stepped inside, the door shutting behind us.

"Home." He dropped his bag beside the door. "There's something I wanted to…" he drifted off as he pulled me toward him, crashing his mouth against mine. I moaned softly, my hands tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck while his hands slid down my body, cupping my ass.

I groaned against his mouth when he lifted me off the ground as if I weighed nothing. For a moment in the back of my mind, I panicked about how heavy I must have felt to him. I quickly pushed the thought away, feeling his hard length against my center as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Bedroom?" he murmured against my lips, and I nodded before attacking his mouth with mine.

He laid me down gently on the bed before climbing up next to me. He ran his fingers through my hair, his eyes full of love and lust. "I want you so badly, Bella. I want—"

I pressed a finger against his lips, quieting him. "I want you, too, Edward. _All_ of you."

He leaned down, capturing my lips with his. "You're sure? I don't want to rush you, baby. We have a whole lifetime together."

"You're not rushing me." I ran my fingers along his jaw. "I love you. This has been the hardest six weeks of my life. I can't tell you how much I've missed you, needed you, _wanted _you. Words aren't enough."

"I love you, too. I've missed you, too, baby. It's been torture."

Slowly, he rid me of my clothes, staring at me with nothing but adoration in his eyes. There was still that small voice—no matter how far I'd come or how bold I felt with him—that told to cover up, but I fought it constantly. I swallowed my fears and once again chose to concentrate on his love for me.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered in my ear before placing a kiss under it. He kissed my chest, his lips just barely grazing my nipples as he continued down my body until he was between my legs. "Can I kiss you here, too?" He gazed up at me from between my thighs.

The sight before me was almost too much. "Yes," I said, letting my eyes flutter closed. He kissed my clit, causing me to groan. That alone had felt so good, but what he did next couldn't even begin to compare.

He wrapped his lips around my clit, sucking gently as his tongue flicked at it. I moaned loudly, my hips raising off the bed. "Oh, my God, Edward!"

One of his fingers circled my entrance before just dipping inside as he continued to suck and lick at my clit. I knew it wouldn't take me long to fall apart. Phone and video sex was great, but it could never compare to his touch. "I—oh, shit, that feels so good. I've never—fuck!" I moaned loudly as an orgasm wracked my body.

He crawled back up my body, kissing me on the lips. "Bella?" He whispered. "I—I'm nervous. I want to be good for you but, you know, I mean," he stuttered.

"Edward." I kissed his cheek. "I'm not expecting anything but for you to love me and for me to love you. Just like last time, we'll learn together. Okay?"

He nodded before sitting up on his knees, gripping his cock in his hand. "I love you," he uttered as he began to push in slowly.

My eyes widened and I drew in a sharp breath, causing him to stop. "What? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"No, but I need a minute. It's just really... full."

He glanced down between us. "Um, it's not even all the way in."

"Oh God. Okay, keep going, then." I squeezed my eyes shut as he continued to push into me. It didn't exactly hurt, it just felt different than I expected.

"God, Bella. I never expected it to feel... can I move? Are you okay if I move?"

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Yes."

He pulled back slowly before sliding back into me. His eyes were shut tight, his lip between his teeth as he continued to thrust in and out of me.

I ran my hands over his shoulders, taking in the sight of him. We were both trusting each other with a part of our souls, something we could never get back. "I love you so much."

"Oh,I love you, too." He grunted. "I can't, I'm sorry—" I felt him spill warm and wet inside of me.

He rolled off of me quickly, his cheeks pink with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, that couldn't have been very good for you." He sighed.

"I don't think it can get much better than that, Edward."

He scoffed at me. "I only lasted a few minutes, you didn't even get a chance to come again."

"I don't care. I didn't need to come a second time. We have forever to make love for hours and hours. You can make me see stars from coming so hard another time. But this moment? It's only going to happen once, and I can't tell you how happy I am that I got to share it with _you."_

"I really like the sound of making love for hours and hours. I guess they do say practice makes perfect, right?"

I smirked at him. "Right."

"I'm really glad I got to share this with you, too," I heard him say.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Hi loves! So, the next chapter(ch. 17) is going to be the last regular chapter and then there will be a future take.**

* * *

**Also, if you're reading 'Good Girl' as well, there is an outtake of a conversation between Edward and Charlie on my Facebook group. You can find the link to the group on my FFN profile!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

I glanced up as the door to the coffee shop opened. Edward had been here for a month already, and still my heart skipped a beat every time I saw him.

He smiled as he made his way over to me. "Hey, baby."

I leaned across the counter, giving him a quick kiss. It was just a little after two in the afternoon, and the place was completely dead. "What are you doing here?"

"I had that interview with the IT department on campus today, remember?"

I slid a cup of coffee made light and sweet, as he called it, across the counter to him. "Right! How did it go?"

His smile widened. "Would you believe they offered it to me on the spot? They'd already spoken to my advisor and my boss over at NYU, and I guess they highly recommended me."

I felt the excitement coming off him in waves. "That's amazing, Edward! I'm really proud of you." I grinned at him. "I'll be off in a half hour, do you want to wait for me?"

"Of course I'm going to wait for you, silly girl; you've got the car, anyway." He laughed as he grabbed his coffee, sitting down at a table nestled in the corner.

The door opening once again caught my eye and I groaned to myself as Jessica walked in. She sent a glare my way before approaching the counter. "Can I get a small mocha?" she snapped, looking past me and pretending she'd never seen me before. Which I was perfectly fine with, if I was being honest.

I turned to make her drink, watching as her gaze roamed around the room and landed on Edward. I heard her gasp and I smirked to myself. Even if he didn't always think so, my man was _hot._

"Here's your mocha," I called to her, placing it on the counter. She straightened out her shirt before picking up her drink. I eyed her curiously as she ran a hand through her hair and pushed out her tits just a little. She added a bit of sway to her hips as she walked toward Edward.

A few months ago, I would have been a nervous wreck. I would have been sure that he'd take one look at her and drop me. I still had those days; I wouldn't be human if I didn't. But he showed me every day through his words and actions what I meant to him.

It was hard to hear what they were saying, and I could only catch bits and pieces of their conversation. But I couldn't stop the blush from heating my cheeks as Edward leaned around Jessica and pointed at me.

"Get the fuck outta here with that shit. _That's _my girl, right there," I heard him say loudly, his accent thick in the heat of the moment. A smile formed on my lips and a giggle slipped through them as Jessica stormed out.

—SE—

"Oh, God, Bella. Please,"he groaned, his fingers digging into my hips.

I pulled my lip between my teeth, moaning as he thrust up and I slid myself down onto his cock. I always thought I'd feel ashamed, like I'd need to cover myself up, if I was on top. However, after I watched the way he dismissed Jessica this afternoon, I was ravenous for him and couldn't find it in me to care about covering up.

"Fuck, fuck, _fuck." _He panted as I rolled my hips, taking him in deeper. The sounds of our sweaty skin sliding against each other and the bed creaking from our frantic thrusts filled the room. "God damn, this is what I've dreamed of, baby. Watching those tits bounce while you ride my cock."

I gasped, feeling my pussy clench with his words. I loved when he was sweet and gentle, but I loved his filthy mouth just as much. I whimpered as his fingers dug into my hips harder, holding me down on him as he thrust up into me over and over. I knew I would be bruised in the morning and I couldn't have cared any less.

"Oh, just like that. Don't stop," I begged as he continued to pound up into me.

"Touch yourself. Play with your clit. I need to feel you come, baby," he grunted.

I slid my hand between us, moaning as my fingers stroked and pinched at my clit.

"I'm almost there. Shit, come on, baby, come with me," he said through clenched teeth. His rhythm faltered as he edged closer to his release. "Fuck, I'm coming, Bella."

I cried out his name, my inner walls spasming around him as I felt him coming in long, hot spurts inside me.

I dropped down on top of him, both of us panting hard and trying to catch our breath. "That was... wow." He chuckled.

"M-hm." I smirked against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. "That _was_ wow."

—SE—

Edward and I were eating breakfast the next morning when he spoke. "I think I want to look for a car today since you're off and I start working next week."

"Oh, yeah, sure." I nodded. "That's fine. But, you know, if you can't afford it just yet, I don't mind sharing my car. I'm sure we could work it out with our schedules."

"I, um, I can afford it," he stammered.

"Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing you said." He sighed. "But I feel like I should have discussed this with you sooner. I have a trust fund from when my grandparents died. And, not to sound like an asshole, but I could buy this house, myself and you brand new cars, and still have... a lot left over."

"What?" I gaped at him. "You're serious?"

"Yeah, I'm serious. I've only used it for school, to visit you, and move myself here. Other than that, it's just sitting there. My grandparents worked hard for that money, and I'd feel like an ass if I just blew through it and didn't work hard, too. Besides, I want it there so I know I can take care of you, and when we have babies—" His eyes widened, realizing what he'd said. "I—I mean, if that's what you want. I know we haven't really spoken about it."

"It's what I want, Edward, I just didn't know you'd thought about it. I want it all with you. Marriage, babies, everything,"I was quick to reassure him.

His shoulders slumped in relief. "I figured I could splurge once on a car. We don't live exactly close to campus."

I smiled at him as I stood from my seat, walking over to him and kissing him. "Edward, you don't have to justify it to me. I think it's a great idea. I love that you want to take care of me, but don't forget that I want to take care of you, too."

He gave me a sweet smile as he pulled me down onto his lap. I thought back to just a couple of months ago, and how self conscious I would have been sitting there. "As long as you keep loving me, that's all I'll ever need."

"I'll always love you, but that was a corny line."

"Corny, maybe. But true, nonetheless."

—SE—

"A Volvo? Are you sure? You don't want a Mustang? Maybe an Audi?" A Volvo just seemed like such a safe car for a guy in his twenties.

He shrugged. "I'm just thinking about the future, I guess. It's a good car, and it'll last for years."

I leaned over and pressed my lips to his cheek. I loved that in everything he did, our future was front and center of his thoughts, just as it was with mine.

"I think it's great, then. As long as it's what you want."

He grinned at me, gripping my hand and leading me into the showroom. "It is. Come on, I want to show you the exact one I want."

His smile was infectious, as always. I knew that for the rest of my life, as long as he was happy, I'd be happy as well.

—

**A/N: Well friends, this is our last regular chapter. Next week I'll post a future take and that will be it for this lovely couple. Thanks for coming on another journey with me. I've been absolutely floored by all the reviews, responses and the fact that this fic has touched so many of you on a personal level. I've loved hearing your stories, and I appreciate that you've chosen to share them with me!**

**As always, keep an eye out for what I have coming next, and feel free to join my Facebook group, Stories by MissLiss15. The link to it is on my FFN profile! **


	18. Future take

**Future Take**

It was almost six years to the day that Edward moved across the country to be with me and everything in my life changed for the better. It was also just a little over two years that we'd gotten married and moved to Brooklyn, which had also changed my life for the better. And now, I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I realized our life was about to change again_._

We'd been trying for a baby for a few months now, and I was finally pregnant. I'd missed my period a week ago, and even though I knew it could just be a fluke, I'd needed to know. So while Edward was at work, I rushed down to the store and bought a pregnancy test. Turns out I was right.

I sat at the desk in our office looking at Pinterest, trying to come up with a cute way to tell Edward when my phone rang. I glanced down, seeing it was Edward's mom, Esme, knocking me from my daydreams of chubby legs with copper hair and brown eyes.

In the past two years that we'd lived here in Brooklyn, Esme had been more of a mother to me than my own had been my entire life.

Things between me and my mom were still rocky, but they were better than they had been. She was still learning that just because she was insecure in her own skin, it didn't give her the right to make me feel less than. I honestly wasn't sure if she'd ever truly understand, but I was finally okay with that realization. It was about her,not me.

I felt terrible not answering Esme's phone call, but I knew if I answered, I would automatically blurted out that I was pregnant. Edward deserved and needed to be the first person I told. This was something that was for the two of us to share.

—SE—

I was standing in the kitchen when I heard his keys in the door. I tried to calm myself, to get rid of the face splitting grin I'd sported all afternoon. As I heard him slip his shoes off and hang his keys, I opened the refrigerator pulling out the steaks I'd purchased just a few days prior.

"Hey," he said as he walked over to me, placing a kiss on my lips. "How was your day?"

"Good. Great, actually." And, magically, my grin was back. That was, until I tore the plastic wrapping from the steaks. The smell of raw meat hit me instantly and I could feel my stomach lurch. I covered my mouth and ran for the bathroom as fast as my feet would carry me. I barely got the lid of the toilet up before I was sick.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Edward followed me into the bathroom, dropping down beside me.

"Um, well, I had this whole big surprise planned, but... I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant? You're pregnant?" He sat back against the bathtub, pulling me onto his lap. I stared at him, noticing the tears in his eyes "Seriously?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Seriously."

He gripped my face with both of his hands, sporting the same silly grin I'd had on my face earlier. "Go brush your teeth so I can kiss you."

I shook my head as I laughed, pushing myself off his lap to grab my toothbrush.

—SE—

The weeks flew by quicker than I thought they would. It was as if I blinked and suddenly I was sitting at my baby shower being fawned over by Angela, Alice, Esme and, surprisingly, even my mother had made the cross-country trip.

"Bella." Mom pressed her hand to my cheek, giving me a small smile. "You look beautiful. Pregnancy really agrees with you."

I felt tears brimming in my eyes. It was the first time in my life that she had ever called me beautiful. I knew I didn't need her approval. I'd known for a while now that I was beautiful inside and out, as Edward would tell me. But it felt good to hear nonetheless.

"Thanks, Mom." I sniffed, wiping at my eyes. "Sorry, it's the pregnancy hormones." The look she gave me told me she knew better than that.

"You'll be such a good mom, Bella." Her eyes had a sadness about them as she spoke. "Better than I ever was."

The moment was broken as Alice clapped her hands and loudly announced, "Come on, ladies! It's time for presents!"

—SE—

My eyes popped open and my hand immediately went to my belly. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I'd been having Braxton-Hicks contractions the previous day, but this was different. I glanced at the clock, noting that it was just a little after two in the morning.

"Edward," I said as I shook him lightly. "Edward, wake up." He mumbled something and rolled over, falling back to sleep.

"Edward!" I said loudly, this time shaking him harder, causing him to jump up.

"What? What's going on?"

"I had a contraction."

I watched as the realization of what I said dawned on his face. "You had a... do we need to go to the hospital?"

I shook my head. "No, not yet. But I'm scared." I could feel tears pricking at my eyes. "I'm scared I'm not going to be able to handle the pain. What if—"

"You're going to do just fine." He gripped my hand and pulled me close to him. "You're one of the strongest women I know, Bella. And I'll be right there the whole time. You can break my hand, curse at me, call me bad names, and every other woman-giving-birth cliché, okay?"

I laughed through my tears and nodded. "Okay."

—SE—

"Just one more big push, Bella and you can meet your baby," the doctor coached me as I groaned loudly, bearing down as hard as I could. It was only a few moments later that I fell back as the room was filled with the sound of our baby crying. "It's a girl!"

"A girl," Edward choked out as they laid her on my chest after having cleaned her up a bit. "I'm the daddy to a little girl."

As I stared down at her, so many thoughts swirled through my mind.

I knew I would always tell her she was beautiful. I'd make sure she knew she was loved unconditionally. I wanted her to know that beauty went way beyond skin deep, and that the words people say to you—about you—don't define you.

That in the end, there was no one better to be than yourself.

* * *

**A/N:**

**I just wanted to once again say thank you for coming on this journey with me. I've done a crappy job lately at replying to reviews, but I read each and every one of them. I appreciate you all so much. Also, thanks to SassYNoleS for joining up with me as a pre-reader half way through this fic! I hope you'll join me on my next adventure and remember, if you want teasers, pics, and some silly fun, you can join my Facebook group Stories by MissLiss15. The link is here on my FFN profile!**


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